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RPG Superstar 2015

Heathy's Saltmarsh Campaign, II

Game Master Heathansson


3,451 to 3,500 of 4,575 << first < prev | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | next > last >>

Male human/lizardfolk form Paragon 3 /Evoker 3 (abjuration&enchantment barred) ---15096XP

Riese sees the Necromancer appear and zap Altute and decides to pay him back in kind. "Oculous disturiota obsculut!!" Blindness. DC17 fort or the Necromancer is blind. Permanently.
Also what do I know about Green Hags, I have a +7 in arcana and local and a +6 in dungeoneering and planes. Here is my roll-1d20=16.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

The magic missile blows a hole in his chest big enough to throw a softball through. He flumps to the floor; Jag looks down and steels himself to his fate.
"I die, you die too....fat dwarf."


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Riese's Altered Form wrote:

Riese sees the Necromancer appear and zap Altute and decides to pay him back in kind. "Oculous disturiota obsculut!!" Blindness. DC17 fort or the Necromancer is blind. Permanently.

Also what do I know about Green Hags, I have a +7 in arcana and local and a +6 in dungeoneering and planes. Here is my roll-1d20=16.

You can rethink if you want to; the dude's got a hole in him dead...


Male human/lizardfolk form Paragon 3 /Evoker 3 (abjuration&enchantment barred) ---15096XP
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
Riese's Altered Form wrote:

Riese sees the Necromancer appear and zap Altute and decides to pay him back in kind. "Oculous disturiota obsculut!!" Blindness. DC17 fort or the Necromancer is blind. Permanently.

Also what do I know about Green Hags, I have a +7 in arcana and local and a +6 in dungeoneering and planes. Here is my roll-1d20=16.
You can rethink if you want to; the dude's got a hole in him dead...

What targets are still in view?


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

Well, you know from direct observation they sap strength, and can turn invisible, and can change form to hot babes....
They are also highly resistant to spells (SR 18)
That's all that that roll will cough up (there's not that much more annyhoo.)


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Riese's Altered Form wrote:
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
Riese's Altered Form wrote:

Riese sees the Necromancer appear and zap Altute and decides to pay him back in kind. "Oculous disturiota obsculut!!" Blindness. DC17 fort or the Necromancer is blind. Permanently.

Also what do I know about Green Hags, I have a +7 in arcana and local and a +6 in dungeoneering and planes. Here is my roll-1d20=16.
You can rethink if you want to; the dude's got a hole in him dead...

What targets are still in view?

Jag Doom in view; blocked by the dwarf and about 90 feet away. (k8)

The green hag didn't fall in battle, though she turned invisible...she was at about 024 when she flickered out of sight.


Male human/lizardfolk form Paragon 3 /Evoker 3 (abjuration&enchantment barred) ---15096XP

3d4 3=12 Magic Missile one Jag Doom.


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

Beldan tippytoes forward before shivving Jag Doom in the kidney.

Move to J7 - Move silently 10+15=25. Attack roll 16+5+2(invisible)+2(flank)=AC 25. Also, Jag Doom is denied any DEX bonus. Critical confirmation 13+5+2(invisible)+2(flank)=AC 22. Damage 1d6+1=5x2=10+13(sneak attack)=23.

Elgan and the dire wof delay, sniffing around for the disappeared hag.

The big guy has Scent, which might help a bit. If he can smell her, he's on the hunt.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

Jag Doom falls mightily and is dead; the missile and the blade finish him.
The wolf sees the door opening back out to the wicked garden of the tyrant king; he can smell her allright. Everybody can smell her perfume of rotting nectarines.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

Heh heh....invisibility is fun!!!

Just a self reminder really....
R/A/B/
Elgan/Wolf were holding
Stiggy
Gittik


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

With a thunderous roar, the massive wolf takes off after the unseen foe. It closes in with unnatural speed.

A creature with Scent can "pinpoint the smell's location". The way I read this is that it knows which square the target is in, but, as it can't actually see the enemy, miss chances still apply. Thus, the dire wolf sprints afer the hag (its move is now 90'!) and does its best to rip the green nasty's head off. Attack roll 13+11+1(haste)=AC 25, damage 6+10=16, trip attempt 14+11=25. I'd sugget you roll the miss %.

Elgan trots after the hunting wolf, happy to let the big fella take the lead.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

"GAAAAAAAH!" a screech is heard, as if from the very aether. "I yield! Give a poor lady a break! Get this horror off me! I yieeeeeeld!!!" She turns visible again; she's retaken the form of the pretty blonde, and the wolf has her dead-to-rights all tripped and wolfhandled.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

That ends combat...
1550 exp each.


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

Huh. I'm honestly at a loss for what to do here. The wolf sits on her for a couple of rounds while the rest of the party closes in. We'll debate what to do with her then.

Edit: Huzzah! Delicious XP!


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

"Please," she implores you with big blue eyes. "Please don't hurt me any more."


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

Searching everybody BUT the green hag (she's still alive so it's not exactly a done deal)

+2 bastard sword
+1 mithril shirt
+1 ring of protection (two of them)
+1 full plate (looks like demon worshipper bondage gear stuff)
+1 greatsword, anarchic (+1d6 vs. lawful's)
+1 hide armor BEASTSHAPE
2 scrolls of summon undead iii
3 potions of cure moderate wounds

8,000 g.p. in coin/gems/jewelry/masterwork gear of one kind or another.

The necromancer's spellbook:

1)blade of blood, chill touch, orb of cold: lesser, summon undead i, and spells you allready have....

2)seeking ray, boil blood, false life, kelgore's grave mist, spectral hand, summon undead ii.

3)gaseous form, summon undead iii, greater mage armor, lightning bolt...

4)each wizard type pick one; it's there.


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

Nice! I'll nominate Polymorph, unless you think it's too much of a pain in the ass. BTW, who carried the greatsword?

dungeonmaster heathy wrote:

+1 full plate (looks like demon worshipper bondage gear stuff)

This'll look great on Stig. Great, I tell you!


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

Polymorph's groovy.

The guy in black plate had the greatsword.

Stiggy'll look like he's in an all-dwarf Gwar cover band festooned in that gear.


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

I actually saw GWAR once. Surreal stuff.

Also, human paragons gain light armour proficiency. Perhaps Riese will want the mithril shirt? It'll only have a 10% chance of spell failure.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

Cool. I'd like to; it's just the weird kitch of it all.


Male Human Paragon 3 /Evoker 6 (abjuration&enchantment barred) ---37,300XP
Altai Iscarni wrote:

I actually saw GWAR once. Surreal stuff.

Also, human paragons gain light armour proficiency. Perhaps Riese will want the mithril shirt? It'll only have a 10% chance of spell failure.

Nah, No spell failure for me!

I nominate......wait for it.......Wall of Fire. Burn, burn, FIRE!!! Hee-hee.


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

Initial loot distribution:

Spoiler:

+2 bastard sword - sell for 8335 gp
+1 mithril shirt - sell for 2100 gp
+1 ring of protection (two of them) - Beldan gets one. Everybody else has one, so we sell the other for 2000 gp
+1 full plate (looks like demon worshipper bondage gear stuff) - to Stig
+1 greatsword, anarchic (+1d6 vs. lawful's) - sell for 18350 gp
+1 hide armor BEASTSHAPE - to Elgan
2 scrolls of summon undead iii - sell both for 750 gp
3 potions of cure moderate wounds - to Stig, Gittik and Elgan or Beldan

8,000 g.p. in coin/gems/jewelry/masterwork gear of one kind or another.

This gives us:

31535 gp in gear/2= 15267 gp and 5 silver
+8000 gp in stuff
=23267 gp and 5 silver/6
=3877 gp and 9 silver each

Elsewhere, I'm increasingly inclined to let the dire wolf eat the hag. While it isn't something to be particularly proud of, what are we supsed to do? She's a shapeshifing, spellcasting menace who seems more than a little crazy. It's not like we can arrest her either - where would we take her?


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

"Please, don't hurt me....please......please....."


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

wow. 1 hour before the new year and I'm completely sober. I'm so lame.


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

You and me both. My old neighbourhood here in Tucson celebrated New Year by blasting away with their guns, so I'm inclined to keep my face indoors.


<Stig looks over the armor.>

"Look 't the codpiece. Es tha' a dragon's 'ead?"


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

"It... could be. Perhaps it is a fanciful representation of Juiblex, the demon lord of slime and bodily waste products?"

BTW, do you need all those weapons you lug around? Altai could enchant up the adamantine waraxe; after that, we could sell the bastard sword and the other waraxe.


Altai Iscarni wrote:
BTW, do you need all those weapons you lug around? Altai could enchant up the adamantine waraxe; after that, we could sell the bastard sword and the other waraxe.

That would be excellent.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

that reminds me--almost time to take down the Christmas tree.....HAH!


<Enjoys a nice snack on JD's bowels.>


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

The hag sees that, and screams, which turns into a chilling cackle.
"I never thought I'd see that! heheee heheee hee!"


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

What now, brave bravos?

metagame--I didn't mean to put you guys in the "captured enemy on Saving Private Ryan" moral debacle; just there for foreshadowing via interrogation. Sorry about that...


Male Human Paragon 3 /Evoker 6 (abjuration&enchantment barred) ---37,300XP

I say we finish her off, she'll only harry other innocents if we let her go, and we can't tow her about while we continue to sally forth.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

"I won't harry them. I don't even know what that is.
I'll go back to the swamp and quit you people altogether. There's plenty of frogleg and bullywug there."


M Halfling Barbarian 10

"Me say we kill her! She ugly!"


Male Human Rogue 14

Slight retrospect:

“Ha! Take that Jag Doom! Did you see that everyone, how I snuck up and took down the big bad guy? … what do you mean you didn’t see it? That Riese’s magic finished him off? Well of course you couldn’t see me, I was invisible!”

Thanks for NPCing me Vatters – nice hit there! Sneak Attack + Crit = Big Trouble.

Now:

“Well,” muses Beldan, “she is ugly … but she can look quite attractive too…” His face hardens. “I hate that trick,” he snarls, obviously dealing with unpleasant memories of a certain goblin woman.

“But I suppose we shouldn’t judge her based on her looks, either way.” He looks to the others. “What is she? Some sort of crone or witch? Will it come back to haunt us – or others – if we just let her go? I’m … not that comfortable with just offing defenseless (albeit hideous and deranged) old ladies, or hot maidens either for that matter.”

He turns to the girl / crone. “But come to think of it, what were you doing up on that altar anyway?” Sense Motive: 6+4 = 10


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

She says (and you are inclined to believe her--for the wolf is too distracting for her to think fast)

"I came here with the Resurrection Man. The Hool Coven lent me to him. He came here to see how Jag Doom's efforts were proceeding. He seemed very pleased about the discovery of this Castle.
He went down into the dungeons, and from there, he went elsewhere....to the Isle of Dread. He was very excited about that.
He said that the Isle of Dread offered him great promise, and that he must immediately endeavor to begin in earnest his missionary work there."


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

"She can't be trusted. Let the wolf have her."


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

"'Isle of Dread'? Give me a break. These is no such thing as an 'Isle of Dread'."


Beldan Vale wrote:


Now:

“Well,” muses Beldan, “she is ugly … but she can look quite attractive too…” His face hardens. “I hate that trick,” he snarls, obviously dealing with unpleasant memories of a certain goblin woman.

“But I suppose we shouldn’t judge her based on her looks, either way.” He looks to the others. “What is she? Some sort of crone or witch? Will it come back to haunt us – or others – if we just let her go? I’m … not that comfortable with just offing defenseless (albeit hideous and deranged) old ladies, or hot maidens either for that matter.”

He turns to the girl / crone. “But come to think of it, what were you doing up on that altar anyway?”

"Ah reckon she was in th' wey o mucker wi' a demon prince an' spawn a nemesis which woods hae plagued us intae uir auld age."

<Begins donning the S&M plate. Waves his hand as if brushing her away.>

"Tenser willnae et 'er, ay 'at Ah ken assure ye."


<With his snout well burrowed into JD's gut. A malodorous cloud of blood erupts every time he snorts. Gouts of blood seep from JD's nose as Tenser tugs on his lungs.>

"Slorp, slorp, slorp, slorp, slorp, slorp, slorp. Slorp, slorp, slorp, slorp, slorp, slorp, slorp. Slorp, slorp, slorp, slorp, slorp, slorp, slorp."


Male Human Paragon 3 /Evoker 6 (abjuration&enchantment barred) ---37,300XP

Ummm, Stig, I believe those holes in that piece are for your nipples to protrude through. If you turn it a bit this way you'll see what I am trying to....yup that's it.......please dear Gods strike me blind and enfeeble my mind to the image now buried within it.
Yes, those two spiked straps are for either side of your.....genitalia......please, please, please purge this vision from my eyes.....
Hmmmmm, I wonder if I could get a set of those for a certain gentleman I know....bet it would look much better on him....


<Stig fumbles with his man boobs and tries to get his nipples through the holes.>

"Aiblins Ah can trade it in."


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

"YES!! Let's, um, trade it in. I'll enchant your current mail for you." Altai nods vigorously. "Now, let's get that old armour on."

The consensus seems to be to snuff the hag. Considering that she has a hasted dire wolf sitting on her chest, it shouldn't be too difficult.


"Ah loove redemption stoories as much as th' next feller, boot thes hag's gonnae be eatin' wee swaddled bairns as suin as we turn uir backs oan 'er. Tha's whit hags dae."


<Man boobs jiggling, Stig makes to chop her head off.>

Coup de grace? Stig or the wolf.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

It's not too hard.

She looks meanly at Stig; morphs into her gnarly natural form...

"I'll swallah yer soul! I'll swallah yer soul!!! EEEEEHEHEHEHEHE!
I'll swallah yer soul!!!!!"


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

this game is rife with stuff I've always wanted to say in a game.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Gittik wrote:
"Me say we kill her! She ugly!"

Me am unanimous in that!


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

Did she have any neat stuff? After all, that's why we game, right? :P

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