Goblins Wreck Kingmaker (Inactive)

Game Master Whack-a-Rogue

You were awoken by the morning sun shining directly into your eyes. That's typically what happens when you choose a cave with the entrance facing east, but who has time to think about such things? Certainly not the six of you. You have bigger concerns. Like how are you going to find a new tribe? After all, Chief said your screwup was unforgivable. Actually, his exact words were "Worst! Gobs! EVER!" And that just might be accurate. After all, you not only managed to blow up ALL the fireworks, but the resulting explosion destroyed the Chief's personal pickle stash. Running away while Chief was frozen in shock and rage was honestly the best idea you've ever had.

You're miles away by now. Too far for Chief to find you. That's the good news. The bad news is that you've never been anywhere remotely close to this far from home before. You're completely lost. And you weren't able to grab very much stuff as you fled, so you'll have to leave the cave eventually. And you hear something coming. In hindsight, you probably shouldn't have chosen a cave so close to the road. It sounds like 'venturers....

And we're off. XD

Chompy wakes up hissing. The light burning his eyes bothering him. It was true what the chief said, Chompy was not a good Gob, very terrible at being a Gob. He shook off the thought. It was early into his sleep and there were sounds of people moving about.

He moved over a bit and nosed at Trinn to wake her up "Quick, I hears things." he said before he tried to find a place to hide himself in case one was foolish enough to enter a dragon's cave.

Stealth: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (6) + 10 = 16

He settled himself in and check all his claws and tail to see if he felt they were well hidden. He nodded, it was good to be a youngling in these instances, it let him hide himself easier. He stamped his feet a bit and set himself up to be ready to pounce and bite at whoever dares upset his Mistress's sleeps.

Croaker was quite displeased by the burning circle attacking him so early in the day. After getting up and poking his frog to make sure it was still alive, Croaker was about to start warming up his voice to get in tune with his instrument, when noises starting coming from outsides the cave.

Croaker quickly began to imagine all the different things he might be able to set on fire. Moving quietly to the entrance, Croaker peered out slightly to try and see where the noises were coming from, toad in hand.

Stealth: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (9) + 10 = 19
Perception: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (20) - 1 = 19

Mogawg rubs his eyes sleepily as he munches on a ration. He perks up at the same time as the rest, hearing the noise from outside. He follows Croaker to get a look, as well.

Stealth: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (17) + 10 = 27
Perception: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (17) + 5 = 22

Perception I forgot to roll: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (18) + 8 = 26

Trinn bats at the space where Chompy had been moments before, hoping that he'd leave her alone. When it becomes clear that everyone else is waking up, she groans and sits up. Noticing a patch of mushrooms right by her head, she scoops them up into her bag before noticing the noise nearby. She hisses to Chompy. "Dragon-what's goin on? Anyone see anything?"

Fungus Roll: 1d20 ⇒ 8
Stealth: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (20) + 5 = 25
Perception: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (8) + 7 = 15

First fungus roll of the game! Hope it's ok I did it now, there isn't a time limit on how long it takes to gather mushrooms, so I think I can do it now. I got an 8, which means that today I am rolling with:

Flame's Herald: Chew this, and the next elemental damage the chewer does becomes fire damage
Oyster Mushroom: Can be a substitute for other plants in recipes
Caterpillar Mushroom: I can blow this into someone's face and unless they make a DC 14 Fort save, they become confused.
Nullstone Creeper: Chew this, and the next time you're subject to a spell you can get a saving throw to negate, even if the spell doesn't allow saves.

All in all...kind of a meh roll. The caterpillar shroom will definitely be helpful.

It hadn't been the fault of Dys about the fireworks and the pickles. Definitely not about the pickles, Dys actually hated the vile things. The fireworks... maybe a little bit. Dys had maybe kinda goaded the others a little, just a tiny bit, to blow them up. But Dys hadn't expected the blame to also fall on Dys, only the others. Now Dys was stuck with the worst gobs, and it was very vexing.

The noises outside and the sudden flurry of activity within the cave snap Dys out of the brooding and the contemplating. On all fours, Dys is a shadow of a shadow, unseen and unheard, the sneakiest, awesomest sneaky... thing as Dys creeps to the edge of the cave to peer outside.

Stealth: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (14) + 15 = 29
Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (14) + 6 = 20

Scrabble was still giggling in his sleep about the pickle scented fireworks. It would be hard to top that stunt, but he was going to have fun trying. The hated sun crept into the cave and he hissed in protest, but stopped as soon as his ears pricked at the sound of longshankes.

He was moving as soon as he heard noise. He crawled out of his hammock right along the wall to the mouth of the cave, then out into the scrub, keeping behind cover and taking a look around. He clearly hated keeping still and was practically vibrating with pent up energy, but the thought of catching some poor 'venturer unawares was worth sitting still for a bit.

Stealth: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (8) + 12 = 20
Perception: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (13) + 5 = 18

Scrabble is a fierce looking gob, all lanky with a head more round than oval. His skin is more yellow than green. There's probably some Monkey Goblin in his heritage somewhere. He's wearing ratty leather armor covered in little spikes and needles, and has a serrated short sword sheathed diagonally across his chest, it's handle just above his right hip.

As Mogawg was remembering earlier the events that led to their quick exile, he thought, Chief was stupid, anyway. Maybe one day I'll turn him into zombie... Mogawg grins eagerly at the thought.

On the path outside your cave, you see big ugly creatures. One ... Two ... Many ... Lots of them! And a big kitty! There's a dwarfshanks, a small green-hair-shanks, and a couple longshanks. They're talking casually in their stupid bigtalkywords.

Chompy hisses softly in Goblin "Mistress, longshanks have pet. Pet knows we here." he says as he tries to adjust slightly to prepare to bite quickly.

"Everyone attack the first one to get close!" Mogawg hisses quietly to the others in Goblin. "Once one is dead I make it a zombie to attack his friendshanks!"

Scrabble climbed into the tree he was next to, staying out of sight. He slowly opened his bear trap and locked it's jaws open.

Staying in stealth. Climbing up. Readying trap.

Looking at the many many-shanks down below, Croaker tried to figure which one would burn the fastest as he whispered, "We attack now? They be close. Little green-shank look weak."

Looking sadly at the meager stash of mushrooms in her belt pouch, Trinn nods to Croaker. She slowly and carefully draws her dagger, wishing she had more than just a little knife, especially against that kitty.

Taking a deep breath, Croaker begins a bass croak, squeezing his frog as well to match the note. After the opening sound, Croaker starts in with a fast, same-sound song.

"Goblins chew, and goblins bite.
Goblins burn, and goblins fight.
Longshanks soon burn in our sight,
For goblin weapons burn with might."

Starting a Burning Blades song. All weapons, including natural, are now on fire (harmless to the wielder) and deal 1d4 extra fire damage.

Bardic Song: 6/7 - Blazing Blades

Attack? Yes! Yes, Dys attack! With a blood-curling scream, Dys bursts forth from the mouth of the cave, running straight at the many-shanks. Dys would not go for the weak one, like Croaker called - no, Dys would go for a strong-looking one and show everyone just how awesome Dys was! Yes, the dwarf-shanks looks suitably strong, and a target that Dys can reach as wiry legs pump as fast as they can and the burning dogslicer comes down in an arc that leaves a trail of flames and sparks.

"AaaAaaAaaRrgh!"

Attack dwarf-shanks with dogliscer: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18 Damage, slashing and fire: 1d4 + 1d4 ⇒ (4) + (2) = 6

I'm moving out and along the outside of the cave wall. I'm going to channel negative energy. Since it is a burst effect, it is blocked by total cover (like a cave wall), protecting most of the gobs. The way I see it, Dys and Scrabble are the only two who would be hit by it, and I can exclude them because of Selective Channeling. All of the enemies should be caught in the 30ft radius burst. Oh, and I'm excluding myself, of course.

After Dys tears out of the cave wildly, Mogawg only thinks for a moment, Yes, kill them now! before quickly moving out of the cave himself. Finding a good spot, he then channels the divine into a burst of negative energy!
Negative Energy damage (DC 12 Will save for half): 1d6 ⇒ 4

Will DC 12: 5d20 ⇒ (15, 17, 10, 14, 1) = 57
Gobbo Initiative: 6d20 + 21 ⇒ (6, 2, 3, 9, 18, 18) + 21 = 77 (average 12ish)
Iconic Initiative: 4d20 + 7 ⇒ (17, 16, 13, 6) + 7 = 59 (average 14ish)

The uglyshanks yelled in surprise as you attacked in a burst of song and sharp things. Mogawg's magicks injure everyone as Dys' dogslicer carves a long gash across the dwarfshanks' chest. He backs away, fumbling with a giant crossbow. The smallshanks feeds him a berry, and his bleeding slows. She has magic food! The kitty tries to nom on Dys' face as the manshanks tries to punch Mogawg - inadvertantly cutting off the ladyshanks as she starts charging forward holding a sword that's bigger than she is. She's frothing at the mouth and looks really mad.
Kitty Bite (dys): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (16) + 7 = 23 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3
If that hits: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (16) + 1 = 17 (trip attempt)
Manshanks Punch (mogawg): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10 Damage: 1d6 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8
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Surprise Round + Enemy Turn Complete
You're up
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Amiri: 2pts damage
Droogami: 2pts damage
Harsk: 7pts damage
Lini: 2pts damage
Sajan: 4pts damage

Mogawg cackles with glee as he dodges the punch from the manshanks. He channels negative energy again before more of his companions exit the cave and he becomes unable to avoid damaging allies with his incredible power!

Negative Energy: 1d6 ⇒ 3 Same DC 12 Will save

EDIT: Can I 5ft step back the way I came? I can't move things on the map from my phone.

Does Dys get an attack of opportunity for that trip attempt? If so: Attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (14) + 6 = 20 Damage: 1d4 + 1d4 ⇒ (2) + (3) = 5

"Oi, stupid, we on the same side!"

Dys yells at Mogwag, who throws hurty magicks at everyone, but somehow the hurty magick misses Dys! However, stupid catshanks is biting Dys. In an attempt to get away, Dys starts to back off, but the catshanks has caught hold of Dys's trouser leg and Dys falls backward with an "Unf!".

Dys has to do something, cannot lie here all day thinking of ways to get revenge on uglyshanks. Dys gets up and swings at stupid catshanks, hissing, pointed teeth bared.

Attack, flaming scimitar: 1d26 ⇒ 16 Damage: 1d4 + 1d4 ⇒ (2) + (4) = 6

Apologies, Mogwag, misses your bit above about selective channeling. Edited now to reflect reality.

@Dys: no AoO on the kitty, I'm afraid. Like wolves, snow tigers have Bite+Trip by default. I assume you're attacking from prone to avoid taking an AoO for standing.

Dys gets up (too proud to lie down) and takes an AoO, would be nice to use my first attack roll on kittyshanks though.

Chompy hisses as he hears the others begin the fight and charges out of the cave on all fours slamming into the cat like creature and biting deep into it's side. Flames bursting out of his mouth hotly.

Bite!: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (19) + 5 = 24

Damage if hit: 1d4 + 1d4 + 1d6 ⇒ (2) + (1) + (4) = 7

I have a once per day that gives my bite 1d6 fire damage...I assume the two stack?

Trinn runs out of the cave, crushing up her Caterpillar Mushroom as she does so. She holds it up and blows the powder into the face of the dwarfshanks. Immediately, a tiny mushroom pops out of the dwarf's head.

For the next 2 rounds, the dwarf needs to make a DC 14 Fort save or act confused for the round.

@Chompy: I have no problem with the effects stacking

@Dys: Chompy killed the kitty, so that means you can stand up freely. Unfortunately, it means you don't have a valid target for your attack. Want to change your action? If you choose to attack, you'll need a new roll, by the way. Your initial one got messed up.

Will: 5d20 ⇒ (17, 9, 13, 19, 17) = 75
Fort: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23

Amiri: 3pts damage
Droogami: dead
Harsk: 8pts damage
Lini: 3pts damage
Sajan: 4pts damage

Holding on Scrabble and Croaker

Dys swings the dogslicer, but it meets only air, as the stinky catshanks collapses as Chompy bites it.

"Oi! Dat kills was mine!"

But the protest from Dys is only a mumble as the heart thunders in the chest. That had been a close one, on the ground with the slavering beast about to tear Dys to pieces. So Dys thinks it more prudent to take out the boomstick and show it to the adventureshanks. Surely when they see it they will tremble in their boots and fill their pants.

Dys holds the massive firearm in both hands and shakes it at the adventurers arrayed in front of them, cackling maniacally.

New action - drop dogslicer, draw musket.

Scrabbler ran along a branch and leaped out of the tree...

Acrobatics: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (19) + 13 = 32 Woohoo!

...he flew through the air holding his beartrap over his head and came down on the big human female with the giant sword.

I'm not exactly sure how "hit her with a beartrap" works within the rules, so I'm going to kinda wing it. If you prefer this get handled another way, we can adjust.
Touch Attack with Bear Trap, Charge, improvised weapon: 1d20 + 5 + 2 - 4 ⇒ (11) + 5 + 2 - 4 = 14

If that touched her with the bear trap, the trap effect goes off.
Bear Trap's attack: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (17) + 10 = 27
Damage: 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (2, 4) + 3 = 9

If that hits and she's still up afterward, I'll use Limb Climber to hang onto her
Climb vs her CMD: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (4) + 14 = 18
While climbing a creature neither of us is considered grappled, I move where the creature moves, and I gain a +1 AC bonus against the creature if they attack me. As a note, we are not sharing a square. I'm just hanging onto her (sharing squares comes later).

Trinn's jaw drops as Scrabble sails through the air above her. "Holy crap."

Sorry about delay. Had to deal with a relative all day.

Croaker almost stops singing in amazement as the goblin flies out of the tree with the bad-bite trap. Continuing his song at the last second, Croaker begins to build a fiery power within, and releases it out toward the Green-Shanks that carried the magic food.

"Goblins rule and catsies drool.
We make longshanks look like fools.
Send the fire. Burn the green.
Show the kitty who is king."

Casting a Destructive Blast using 2 spell points to increase damage. Ranged Touch, and all spells require perform check.
Perform: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (18) + 7 = 25
Ranged Touch: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (11) + 2 = 13
Fire Damage: 2d6 ⇒ (4, 5) = 9

Blazing Blades: 5/7. Spell Points 2/4

@Croaker: augmenting your damage only costs 1 spell point. XD

The magicshanks shrieks in fury as Chompy rips the kitty's throat out. A moment later, Croaker's fire ends her misery. Her green hair burns in a rather satisfying fashion. That's when Scrabble comes streaking from the treetops wielding a flaming bear trap, slams it down on the rageshanks' shoulder, and latches onto her back. Dys' threat doesn't seem particularly effective in the face of the chaos that's ensued - especially when a mushroom grows out of the top of the dwarfshanks' head. He fights off its effects ... for now.

Heavy Crossbow (croaker): 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6 Damage: 1d10 ⇒ 9
STR Check (vs bear trap): 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (17) + 6 = 23
Punches (scrabble: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (20) + 1 = 21 Damage: 1d6 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9
Punches( scrabble): 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8 Damage: 1d6 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

Your turns

Amiri: 12pts damage, bear trap, Scrabbled
Droogami: dead
Harsk: 8pts damage
Lini: dead
Sajan: 4pts damage

So...it doesn't cost a spell point to shoot a Destructive Blast? Okay.

Croaker's laughter highlights the end of his song as he squeezes his frog slowly for a loud resonating croak. Many of these longshanks were down, and now there were more goblins than longshanks. They almost outnumbered them!

Swirling his arm, Croaker sent out another fire ball at the Shortshanks, wanting to drench yet another in fire.

"Fire from above!
Fire in your lungs!"

Using Destructive Blast on Harsk while ending Bardic Performance. Lingering allows its effects to last two more rounds, though.
Perform: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (13) + 7 = 20
Ranged Touch: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22
Fire Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 5
Crit Confirm?: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7
Crit Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 3
Unsure if we double dice or reroll for critical damage. Rolled just in case.

Bardic:5/7. Active: Blazing Blades (Lingering for 2 rounds)
Spellpoints: 3/4

I love that you used Scrabble as a verb for Amiri's condition.

"Ha! Aha! Muah ha ha HA HAAAAAA!!!" Mogawg laughs evilly as he sees the greenshanks and her kittie fall dead. He leans over and rests one hand upon the dead kittie. His eyes flash, and the kittie moves with new unlife!
(in Goblin)"No worry, gobs, this is now MY pet! ZOMKITTIE!! ATTACK!" he says, pointing at manshanks (the punchy one).

Trinn moves up to the dwarfshanks and tentatively pokes at him with her (now flaming) dagger.

Attack: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8
Damage: 1d3 + 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (3) + (1) - 1 = 3

She just kinda taps his armor with the not-sharp side of the blade. She doesn't have much practice actually stabbing things, she mostly uses the knife to dig up roots and stuff.

Zomkittie stands up as a move action (provoking an attack of opportunity from Sajan), and because zombies are staggered it cannot take a standard action after that. It will attack next round.

"Hurry up, stupid kittie!" Mogawg cries in frustration.

@Croaker: the base ability of almost all Spheres is free - and typically scales with caster level. It makes mages slightly stronger at low levels but balances this by eliminating all of the game-breaking high level stuff. XD Crit damage is always rolled, by the way.

Because everyone (including myself) forgot about the Wild Magic houserule, here's a few rolls to catch us up.
Destruction x2: 2d100 ⇒ (80, 59) = 139
Death: 1d100 ⇒ 20
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Croaker's flames set the dwarfshanks on fire, and he falls over. Trinn pokes him and confirms that - yes - he's dead. Then Mogawg brings the dead kitty back to life!
AoO (zomkitteh): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (10) + 3 = 13 Damage: 1d6 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9

Amiri: 12pts damage, bear trap, Scrabbled
Droogami: zombified
Harsk: dead
Lini: dead
Sajan: 4pts damage

Mogawg's reanimate cost him a spell point. The other base ability of the Death sphere though, ghost strike, does not cost a spell point. That attack of opportunity is a miss. Zomkittie's AC is 19 (with the prone penalty it was 15).

Trinn pumps her fist and quietly murmurs "Yesssss" to herself. Clearly her mind-controlling mushroom was what did the dwarfshanks in, and not the raging inferno.

Since the barbarian attacked Scrabble with a natural weapon she needs to make a DC 15 Reflex save or take 1 point of damage from the spikes on Scrabble's armor

Roll With it (acro, dc 5+ damage dealt): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (14) + 13 = 27 Success, damage is converted into movement.

Scrabble went flying back with the force of the blow, rolling end over end when he hit the ground, and vanished into the underbrush.

Scrabble is 16 feet away and Staggered for this round. He used the cover from the foliage to enter Stealth.

Stealth: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (2) + 12 = 14 Well, better than nothing. With my action I draw my shortsword.

Chompy uses the Zombie kitty standing up to pounce the next victim, the PUNCHY LONKSHANKS!!! He tumbles in with a tail twap followed by a bite at his inner thigh.

Bite against Favored Enemy!: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (9) + 7 = 16

Damage the Lonkshanks?: 1d4 + 1d4 + 2 ⇒ (2) + (3) + 2 = 7

Tail Twap the Longshanks!: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10

Damage the Longshanks?: 1d4 + 1d4 + 2 ⇒ (1) + (1) + 2 = 4

Dys grumbles in frustration as only two longshanks are left. How can Dys show off the awesomeness of the boomstick with only two left? Oh well, better than nothing. Taking careful sight along the barrel, one eye closed and face scrunched up in concentration, Dys braces the butt of the musket against a root, taking hold of the boomstick wit both hands and hauling it around until it is pointed at the bigshanks that made Scrabble fly.

Attack rageshanks, FF AC, musket: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18 Damage: 1d12 ⇒ 5

To clear up an apparent misunderstanding: rageshanks is caught in a bear trap and has a giant sword, so punchshanks is the one who made Scrabble fly. XD

Reflex: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (13) + 1 = 14
STR: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (9) + 6 = 15

Chompy bites the punchshanks' leg and holds him in place. Then Dys' boomstick fills the area with a deafening *BOOM*. Punchshanks grows a hole in his head and falls over. Rageshanks appears to be growing even more furious by the second. Not even appearing to notice her companions fall, she's roaring in rage as she pries at the bear trap on her shoulder. If she used her giant sword as a lever, perhaps she'd be more successful, but that would require more thought than she's apparently capable of at the moment.

FINISH HER!!!

Amiri: 12pts damage, bear trap
Droogami: zombified
Harsk: dead
Lini: dead
Sajan: dead

Zomkittie hops up on the dead body of manshanks (5 ft step) and bites at rageshanks! (standard action)
Bite: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 9
damage: 1d4 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 4 = 7

Trinn gingerly picks her way over the corpses over to rageshanks, and tries her luck with poking the mighty foe.

Attack: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4
Damage: 1d3 + 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (2) + (4) - 1 = 5

Hoo boy. How're we doing critical failures in this campaign?

@Trinn: nat1 on an attack roll or saving throw is an autofail, but there's no other effect. XD

Mogawg lets out an expletive as Zomkittie misses with its bite. He moves around for a clearer line of sight and then throws his dagger at rageshanks!
Dagger ranged attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7
damage: 1d3 - 1 + 1d4 ⇒ (1) - 1 + (2) = 2

Good to know. Also, if we get wrecked by a half dead barbarian after we killed the rest of her party I will laugh so hard...

With a croak of victory, Croaker swirls his arm up and sends another jet of fire toward the last longhsanks.

"Longshanks dead by hole in head.
Longshanks die in goblin bed.

Using Destructive Blast and spending point for damage. Song lingers for this round as well.
Perform: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (12) + 7 = 19
Ranged Touch: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17
Fire Damage: 2d6 ⇒ (2, 2) = 4

Bardic:5/7. Active: Blazing Blades (Lingering for this round.)
Spellpoints: 2/4

Bite: 1d20 + 5 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 5 + 2 = 27

Damage if bit: 1d4 + 1d4 + 2 ⇒ (2) + (2) + 2 = 6

Tail TWAP: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21

Damage if TWAP: 1d4 + 1d4 + 2 ⇒ (4) + (3) + 2 = 9

Super bite?: 1d20 + 5 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 5 + 2 = 11

Off chance Confirmation worked?: 1d4 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 = 3

Chompy gives the nearly headless corpse a quick shake before he lets go with the momentum and spins himself into the last enemy with a heavy tail and a greedy bite!