Goblins 2: The Wreckin'-ing! (Inactive)

Game Master Dave Young 992

Velag says, "Smell like that, you the least sneaksie goblin ever."

Joboo wrinkled his nose and wondered just ...what these here daft gobbos is talking about?...

What?! Youses say me no sneaksies? Haha...hoho..hehe...youses so funnies gobbos.

So, can we talk about this somewhere seriously, or are you just going to keep trashing the bar?

Myra seems to be losing patience.

"Lead wayses upstairs Bucko follow youses behind."

Joboo wrinkled his nose and wondered just ...what these here daft gobbos is talking about?...

What?! Youses say me no sneaksies? Haha...hoho..hehe...youses so funnies gobbos.

As they make their way upstairs, "NO, JOBOO, HE SAY YOU STINK SO BAD, LONGSHANKS SMELL YOU BEFORE YOU SNEAKS UP ON THEM AND CUT THEM. THAT'S WHAT HE SAY, STOOPID." She pops him on the back of the head. "YOU JUST BE SNEAKY WITHOUT STINKY, OKAY? IF YOU GONNA BE STINKY, MAKE SURE YOU NOT SNEAKY, 'CAUSE SNEAKY WITH STINKY IS NOT GOOD BUT BE ONLY STINKY WHEN YOU NOT SNEAKY. STINKY AND SNEAKY IS LIKE CREAKY AND SNEAKY ONLY IT'S STINKY AND NOT CREAKY WHICH IS NO GOOD WHEN YOU BE SNEAKY. YOU SEE?" She rolls her eyes as if it's obvious.

Joboo cringed under the verbal assault with visions of his mamasan screaming like that and shaking her long broken finger at him. He half a mind to grab this gobbo gal and have his way with her...only ting gobbo gals is goody goody gumdrop for...but shena squishy nuff...must not cook eever...

iffne mesa want to be sneaksies den yous never ever gonna know! shadow cant even follow.

he checked to make sure it was still behind him and then stuck out his tongue while staring at her butt as he followed her up the stairs...no sirees...not squishy nuff...

You are led to a private room you probably should have been put in, anyway.

Myra sits at a table, her troll guard too big to join you. He stands at her side. If you speak Common, you understand this:

"I likeses lust sword whatses it does?"

"We done boiled bogturds, we not yets burned a city!"

"What us doeses tah gets sword?"

I'm not from around here. All I know is that Tyrana lairs somewhere in or near Kaer Maga. I figured goblins like yourselves could find out where better than I could. It's rumored that she's hired guardians and constructed a lot of nasty traps to keep folks away.

The sword is a human-sized longsword, very fancy, with a blade that flames. It has other properties, too, in the right hands. If she were to get all the swords together, that would spell disaster for everyone- goblins included. If you manage to get it from her, meet me here, and you'll get your reward.

Velag squints and glares at the woman, first sizing her up before she begins, trying to get a sense of whether she's actually looking for help or just wants a cat's paw... Sense Motive: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (1) + 15 = 16 ...and asks the Grey Master to tell him about her...

Discern alignment -> looking for (in order) Good, Evil, Chaos, Law

He then opens his mind to the Grey Master's voice as she speaks, almost chuckling as he does, Stoopit human should know better than try to lie to one filled with the tricksieness of the godses...

(Discern lies...)

While his power is still active, Velag looks up at the woman and says, "Swords so powerful, why them hidden? And why you wantses it? You use them better than Tirana-girl? You have others or knowses where them is?"

She may have other swords, but that's just conjecture. They were kept separate just so they couldn't be used together to summon their former owners' powers. If she gets them all, she would wield enough power to enslave all of us. Others have tried to brave the depths of this place, but none have returned.

Joboo wasnt worried about getting into this so called lair but he was having trouble figuring out what someone would do with seven swords.

Uh...shesa has seven armses? How use so many swords unless has lots of armses?

"Bucko woprkses on potion tah makes Youses seven armses....might be good fer foodses, extra arms legeses tasty.....hmmmm"

So, will you find the sword for me? The reward is fair.

Drumming her fingers along the table, "WHAT TAKE SO LONG! WHY LONGSHANK WOMAN NOT TELL US WHAT AND WHERE WE LOOK FOR TREASURE? TELL HER HURRY UP! RETA BORED SITTING HERE WITH ALL THIS TALKING THAT RETA NOT UNDERSTAND." She huffs, her bangs flowing upward.

Joboo frowned and spit a particularly oysterly looking wad to the floor. He also held his hands over his ears as Reta let loose her tirade. It seems no matter what tribe they hail from...gobbo gals alway need be heard by e'erybody...

Reward be fair? What mean fair? Yousa say go wheres no one can goes and steals what e'erybodys is scared to steals for fair? Nose way! Wesa wants mucho mucho mula!

"Youses gives half fair pays now an half once sword stolens by gobbies, showses us golds!"

Velag looks at Reta and then blinks and laughs. "This help Reta, so knows why she yelling." and casts Comprehend Languages on her.

He then turns to Bucko and adds (in Common), "And we gets everything that not the sword, too."

Myra agrees to your terms, with the stipulation that if any of the other swords are there, you'll return them, also. Too big for you to use, and not easy to sell, anyway.

She'll meet you in the morning with 1/2 the money, at the old waterwheel near the dungeons at the bottom of the cliff wall.

Velag says, "We get reward again if more than one sword?"

"Bucko agrees money to steals sword not say how much charges her for sword once gobbies ownses it, that different deals."

Thems the breaks dealing with goblins ;)

Unsure of what Velag did to her, she shrugs it off seeing how she's not full of open, bleeding wounds. Her eyes then narrow as she finds it strange that she can understand the woman's language. She turns her head toward Velag keeping her eyes narrowed, unsure of what he did. As she's just about to say something about it, she remembers she is still absent of open, bleeding wounds and let's it go. "OKAY, LONGSHANK WOMAN. YOU GIVE US HALF TOMORROW, WE FIND SWORDS AND YOU GIVE US HALF AGAIN AND THEN WE FIND SWORDS AND GET HALF AGAIN. OH WAIT... RETA THINK SHE MAY HAVE TOO MANY HALFS." She scratches her head, confused. Not a moment later her eyes narrow again at the woman. "DON'T TRY AND TRICK US BY TAKING OUR HALFS FROM US, LONGSHANK! WE BE GOBLINS!" She states firmly.

Myra looks at Reta, looking a bit surprised. A female goblin? In a party such as this? A rare thing, indeed.

She speaks directly to Reta. You understand me, little goblin lady, but I don't understand you. I don't speak goblin. It's the magic your friend cast on you. Please, stop yelling.

She then looks at Joboo. I've seen you before. That's why you're here.

Myra then addresses you all. Meet me at the waterwheel just after sunrise. I will give you 2 diamonds, worth half our agreement, or I am a liar.

Any and all of the seven swords go to me. You can have anything you gain along the way. We've no interest in that.

Cross me, and you won't leave this city alive.

I believe her.

But is she a liar? Velag will keep with his near-super-goblin Sense Motive-ing her...

Joboo squinted his already beady eyes until they were almost shut and tried to swell his brain into thinking of whether or not he had seen this woman before. He didnt like the idea of someone seeing him when the reverse wasnt also true...mesas slippin...like greasy turtle turd down river bank...hehehe...

Goblins have a unique sense of imagery.

Are we on board for a little dungeon crawl?

Okie dokie, its a deal!

Joboo spit his best luigi into his hand and held it out for the woman to shake.

"FINALLY! YOU STOOPIDS TAKE TOO LONG TO SAY YES TO PRETTY COINS. BYE-BYE LONGSHANK. WE SEE YOU TOMORROW." She shoos her and her troll companion away. Just before they get too far away, she just remembers to remind them, "OH AND DON'T FORGET HALF OF PRETTIES!"

Velag says (in Goblin), "Not wanted to trade coins for lifeses. Well, not usses' lifeses, anyway. So we needs make sures."

Very well. Meet us there tomorrow, and you can seek the entrance.

She declines to shake Joboo's nasty hand, and they leave. You guys can go back to where the Cap'n is staying. He won't mind waiting a day or 2 for you. Reta could use some hit points.

Joboo just used his 'lotion' as he called it to slick back the thick tuft of greasy hair on his head.

Uh...whatsa wesa gonna does now? Still has frog? Wesa can eats frog.

Stats (I think)

"Bucko finishes brew troll stypticses fer eacheses ones, an then makeses oil of snoot slickiness so not be grabbed an nabbeded!"

That's fine. Put your stats in your profile, so they show up under your name.

Let me try this...

So, you rest at the apt., Bucko makes his potions, and Reta heals 8 pts. naturally. Anything else?

Velag'll change her bandages and otherwise long-term-care her to double that. He might even let Bucko rub mud on her.

You've got some unused healing spells, don't you? LOL

Joboo will retrive his minions before heading out with little gobbo clan.

Yousa guys have house? Mucho mucho mula. Nice. Fit whole village in heres.

Healy hex and mud wrestling.... ;)

2d8 + 7 ⇒ (6, 2) + 7 = 15

"RETA NO LIKE MUD! RETA LIKE LOOKING PRETTY! JUST FIX RETA, STOOPID!" She scowls.

"AND WE NOT EAT FROGS, JOBOO! FROGS IS FOR CHASE GAMES, NOT EAT GAMES. HERE," she pulls out a half drunk bottle of perfume, "LET RETA MAKE YOU SMELL NICER." She pours a couple drops of the rotten perfume on Joboo, and then takes a small drink of it. "CAN'T WASTE ALL ON YOU, STINKY, RETA NEED SOME TO DRINK LATER." She puts it back up and spends time thinking about what she's going to spend her portion of the gold on.

Joboo shivers a bit when the perfume starts tingling strangely in his scalp...like times when mesa had lice...hehehe...lices makes head tingle... he rubbed his hand and then smelled it.

Ew! Nowsers Joboo smell like flowers! Yuck!!!

He glared at Reta and then eyed her with suspicion.

Whatcha, whatcha mean youses dont eats frogs? Frogs so yummy yummy in mesa tummy. Mesa eat them whole. Likes when they still kicks in tummy. Hahaha frog fu food! Hohoho!

Bucko's the magic-healer. Velag's powers heal him, so he never learned spells, other than stabilize.

In the morning, Myra meets you near the back walls of the city by the cliff face.

My sources say the entrance is somewhere around this old mill. I'm told she's hired some thugs from the Splitstreet gang, so if you meet any of them, you're on the right track.

There is an ancient waterwheel, still spinning, but the mill is trashed.

I figure some perceptive goblins like yourselves can find it easily enough.

Velag sniffs the air, then sighs and looks to the ground. "Humantracks. Now just figure out which set goes where."

Perception: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (2) + 14 = 16
Survival (Find/ID tracks): 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (16) + 15 = 31

LMAO that Velag never bothered to learn any healing spells, that is so him!

"We new to this town you pointses direction an we find stoopid human water wheel."

Velag notices that there are numerous tracks that seem to end at a point on the cliff face, but sees no entrance.

Perhaps a little snooping about will reveal something?

Having left his minions back at the apartment; Joboo could work with no distractions. He eyed the waterwheel with something resembling deep thought.

Ooh! Oi! Uh...whats wesa looking fors?

"We lookses for door, but secret so might be hole, might be hidden."

"