"One time I think I robbed an elf's grave , they're fey right? Not much for shiny stuff- just some leaves and twigs. He tasted ok though, maybe a bit dry."
"Fire might help. I think fire drives fey away. Maybe light a really big campfire, like three trees big, and they'll go away?"
"Not a big fan of lighting a bunch of trees on fire, but we could light one of these extra horses on fire. You have a torch?"
Xzin glares at Smezut. "Burning horse means burning goblin. Besides if we're burning things, the man-bear would be a better choice."
Eyeing Xzin, and suddenly worrying for his bear friend, Smezut decides it might be time to end this little fun with the Fey."
Smezut attempts to contact the fey, in song of course.
"Fey, fey, your pranks are grand,
You toy with familiars, bows, and man,
Please now show yourself and your kin,
So maybe we can find a way to further anger Xzin!"
As Smezut bursts into song, there is a slight pause after the end. Then, resounding shouts of BOOOOOOOO!!! come from the trees above you. After the boos, Smezut is pelted by a few dozen rotten tomatoes. As he pulls himself up to clean off, the last tomato whizzes past his head and squarely into Xzin's face, along with a couple of chuckles.
As you look around for the culprits, you are unable to pinpoint their location. They seem to be in the trees above you, and judging by the boos and laughs, there are two fey.
Smezut
Ramses
Skaz
Xzin
Tbenox
Varg
"Tomatoes! What a blessing!
Smezut helps himself to the tomatoes so graciously given to the party by the Fey.
The giggling continues as Smezut begins to scarf down rotten tomatoes by the bushel. You hear indecipherable whispers, followed by a shout, "We want another song!" and "Yeah! And it better be a good one this time! Impress us!" The air then becomes calm and quiet, as if the entire forest is waiting for your next performance.
Since the fey gave such wonderful tomatoes, Smezut is willing to sing one more song for them. Smezut also puts a nice little pile of 30 shiny gold coins at his feet before beginning.
"Here is your encore!"
"If there's some goblins in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed,
It's just some new friends in the forest,
Yes, there are two paths we can go by, but in the long run
Neither of us want to see the tree leaves burn!"
After the resounding crescendo, another silence overtakes the forest. A few moments later, 2 creatures appear from thin air among you.
One is a small, butterfly-winged dragon with shining eyes and a quick wit. Fond of doing loops in the air, sipping wine and mead (but not beer!), and perching on peoples' heads. He introduces himself as Perlivash.
The second creature, Tyg-Titter-Tut, is an excitable grig - a cat sized fey with the upper body of a waifish humanoid and the lower body of a cricket. She enjoys music and can sit for hours listening even to poor performances, though can be a tough critic.
Throughout the rest of the evening, they chat with you about what they know about the area, though you have already explored those areas. They admit to involvement with a certain dead trapper, but say it was an accident and he really deserved it any way. They thank you for eliminating the bandits, even if they were fun to mess with from time to time. They thank you for being good sports in dealing with their pranks, and offer their aid if you happen by in the future.
You return to Oleg's the following day. Upon your return, Oleg gives you your gold from items sold on your previous visit. Jhod Kavken applauds your clearing of the lost temple of Erastil, saying soon he will journey there to pay his respects. As a reward, he offers his spellcasting services to you free of charge whenever you may need them (though you would still need to provide expensive components). Kesten Garess informs you your actions in the area have garnered a close look by the Swordlords, and as such they have expanded the scope of your Charter. The reward is great, and offers a real incentive to end the Stag Lord's foul banditry from the area.
Knowing that you still must explore the area, you decide to finish that before assaulting the Stag Lord's fort. You never know if there may be other bandits hiding in the area, and once you take over the area for yourselves, it would help to have a working knowledge of your lands and have them partially cleared out of the foul beasties you have yet to find, such as Tuskgutter and the Tatzlwyrm.
Your third foray into the wild marks your one month anniversary of the beginning of your quest. Svetlana cooks you a delicious breakfast and wishes you well.
After two days traveling west, you find a cairn of stones hidden in blackberry bushes. Varg begins digging, and since his last foray in a similar situation proved fruitful, you help him out. Eventually you reach the skeletal remains of a human, still wearing tattered and rotted remnants of hide armor and the skull crushed in. The only item of interest that has not rotted away is a ring made of green wood, depicting an eel and a frog locked in a tangle. It radiates magic, and you (eventually) realize it is a ring of swimming.
Exploration continues in the western plains for a couple of days, before reentering the forest. Here, two hot springs bubble at the source of the Skunk River, filling the surrounding area with the distinctive odor of rotten eggs. For you, this makes the hot springs an extra pleasant place to relax. Remember, it's not a bath, it's relaxation. The springs are large, and during your break you find the corpses of two giant frogs. Their bloated corpses seem to have human-shaped bulges, and upon a gutting, you find 2 partially digested bandits. Most of their less resilient items were dissolved beyond repair, though their short swords and gold are intact. Guess bandits don't agree with the delicate innards of frogs.
Farther into the forest, you come across a 15ft tall statue of Erastil standing near the edge of the Narlmarches, partially overgrown at the base but towering above the surrounding shrubbery. Though it seems long neglected, you feel as if the site yet remains sacred. Your horses and Varg won't come within 60ft of the statue, not out of fear, but as if something tells them not to. Closer inspection of the statue, you find a seal scroll tube, contents of which include one scroll of Spiked Pit.
Moving south, the stink of moldering plants and a strange quiet in the sound of bird life surrounds a somewhat sunken clearing in the woods. At the center of the clearing, the soggy ground becomes an insect infested swamp like pond, and sprawled at the pond's southern edge is what appears to be a dead horse. Tears begin to well as it reminds you of that poor horse from Neverending Story.
The horse is actually a unicorn, sans horn, with the body strangely untouched by the many insects making a buffet of your exposed skin. The stink of mold comes not from the body, which is weirdly odorless, but from the fouled water of the pond.
Close examination reveals no obvious cause of death, although the creature's eyes are milky and sightless, indicating it was blind at the time of death. The horn looks as if it was removed post mortem, and the lack of obvious wounds indicate the unicorn may have been slain by powerful death magics. The fact that the bugs and scavengers don't seem interested in unicorn meat is a mystery.
Continuing on, you explore the southern reaches of you charter (or at least what I'm saying it is because the map extends but has nothing so...) following along the Skunk River until it reaches the Tuskwater Lake. Here you begin to circle the area around the Stag Lord's fort, leaving for it for last as you close in on the remaining unexplored areas.
You find the fangberries the crazy old hermit potion maker requested, which are quite delicious. Especially mixed with the swarms of spiders that think it was a good idea to come after hungry goblins. You manage to gobble up the spiders before they can mount an attack, and save enough fangberries to take back to Oleg's.
You travel towards the Thorn River, finding a natural ford. Following it upstream, the next day you come across a rickety bridge. Fortunately you are on the west side of the river to continue your exploration in that direction.
The next day in the forest, you find a brush thylacine trapped in a pit. Hitting it with rocks, you eat exceptionally well that night.
The next step into the forest is a bit more dangerous, so this very well may be your last meal!
Smezut
Ramses
Xzin
Tbenox
Smezut
Ramses
Xzin
Tbenox
The day after your delicious meal, you head forth into an area likely full of danger. Likely, because you were narrowing down you exploration and yet to have found the pig or lizard for rewards.
You approach a river with some blockage leading to a small island. Good as any other place to poke around for pigs and/or lizards. As you reach the bank, you don't notice any creatures. The blockage appears as if someone was beginning to craft a makeshift dam or bridge. It's looks sturdy and smooth enough to walk on (and not difficult terrain).
Smezut
Ramses
Skaz
Xzin
Tbenox
Varg
"Hmm, perhaps we should examine this dam, see if any wild creatures are about. Anyone know much about dams? Is it a natural dam or a man-made dam? Or a beaver dam? Beavers taste good if you boil 'em right." Xzin moves ahead a few steps to see if he can find any beaver tracks.
"Here Xzin, let me have a look at that dam. Frostfang taught me a thing or two about the wilds."
"I will take a gander at this dam too." He says gruffly.
Smezut locates a lizard-like print in the sand along the bank. It's recent, and heads toward the island. No tracks on the dam though, the constant splashing of water over it makes it difficult to track upon.
"Hey, these look like lizard tracks, and they head to the island! Lets head over, who's first?"
Tbenox begins to cross the damn dam keeping a sharp eye out for any delicious mesl opportunities.
Xzin believes Smezut is wrong, oh so wrong. Obviously these tracks come from ferocious Biebers - half man, half beaver, and VERY ill tempered.
Xzin begins to chuckle to himself in a high-pitch as he shakes his head, looking at Smezut with disdain. "Oh you poor foolish little man. You are so terribly wrong. See these? These belong to a beast truly out of a nightmare, with a call that will send chills down your spine. The half man, half beaver Beiber. Very ill-tempered mind you. If you wanna cross, go ahead. But I think those of us with some sense should turn back now and come back in force later to clear them out. I hear they fear bright flashes of light and sends them into a rampage."
Ramses moves about half way across the dam.
Shaking his head at Xzin, Smezut moves forward with Ramses, keeping his eyes open for anything out of the ordinary.
Xzin stares in disbelieve as everyone moves towards their demise, slowly coming up behind the rest muttering to himself. "Stupid jerks, gonna get us all killed, not my fault if they become beiber chow."
As you slowly cross the dam bridge, your neck hairs stand on edge in anticipation of the possible incoming battle. Whether it be by lizard or bieber, death is coming. Eventually. Slowly.
Smezut moves forward to the island's bank and begins looking for tracks that match those he previously found.
The more firm ground of the island doesn't reveal any tracks to you.
Ramses moves up and has a look also.
Tbenox looks cautiously.
Perception
Xzin follows along, keeping an eye out, but quickly becomes bored. He utters a spell and begins to whisper into Smezut's and Ramses's ears. "We're all gonna die. Hakuna Matata. These are not the logs you're looking for."
Inch by inch you creep forward, with no lizard or biebers in sight or smell.
Skaz
Varg
Smezut moves forward to the next section of the island, looking for tracks again on the bank.
Xzin gives up trying to find anything and tries to message something to Varg. "Want a vargie snack?"
Smezut sees more lizard prints, heading in both directions. Looks like there two have been in the area over the last couple of days. You don't notice until it's too late... that a Tatzlwyrm was hiding in the bushes, and has moved out to meet you.
Round 1
Ramses
Xzin
Tbenox
Smezut
Skaz
Tatzlwyrm
Smezut
Smezut
Tbenox
Smezut
Ramses
Skaz
Xzin
Tbenox
Tatzlwyrm
Ramses moves and shoots.
For a moment, Xzin ponders turning and running. He knows his friends are dead. But no, Xzin is a hero, a warrior of the horse gods. No, this is where Xzin steps in.
;
;
;
Tbenox fires praying for a hit.
Raising high the legendary sword of his people, Smezut hits an F# and brings the wicked blade down upon the enemy's head.
Skaz rides forth, dagger pointed at the lizard and guiding Varg's vicious bite. Too bad the lizard's snake-like body prevents it from being tripped.
The tatzlwyrm, overwhelmed by the attacks and that screeching goblin's F#, lashes out and latches on to the eagle (rolled randomly, sad it's not one of you...)
But that's not all! Another tatzlwyrm joins the fight, hiding in a bush on the far side of the other island and coming to assist it's fellow lizard. Busting out of the bush prevents it's charge, but it still is able to reach Ramses.
Round 2
Ramses
Xzin
Tbenox
Smezut
Skaz
Tatzlwyrms
5 foot step back and fire
Seeing his pygmy horse dealing with the northern threat, Xzin focuses his particular brand of aid to the south. He calls forth another creature to aid them as well.
;
;
;
;
;
;
Tbenox moves up and fires ze missiles at the injured tatzlwyrm.
Upon the death of Smezut's hated foe, he moves south and begins a ballad of epic awesomeness.
Begin inspire courage
Skaz and Varg turn about and chomp on the second lizard.
The remaining tatzlwyrm decides to go with the less likely tactic in this case of going after the archer (once again, random roll). As fate would have it, ye who attacks the One of the Low Die Rolls will suffer the same affliction.
Round 3
Ramses
Xzin
Tbenox
Smezut
Skaz
Tatzlwyrm
5ft step back and shoot
Xzin watches as his horde of minions begin their work, tearing into the wyrm.
;
;
;
;
And he prepares to summon another creature until he realizes the bloody mess has stopped moving. He instead strides towards the Bieber, drawing the sickle as he moves, and lops off it's head. "Bieber Fever? Not in my house!"