Goblin Kingmaker [Private]

Game Master ChazzAtron5000

Kingmaker with an all Goblin party, because Humans are lame.


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Smezut Scumsong Bard (Thundercaller)/13 Chevalier/1

Attempting to give Xzin a little luck, Smezut casts gallant inspiration in aid of his fort save.

Gallant inspiration: 2d4 ⇒ (3, 2) = 5


Xzin Rag-mag Xzin-xzoran

Xzin calls forth his mighty powers try to escape, "Oh gawds, oh gawds, oh gawds in whose stallion physique you have been chiseled get this cat off me NOW!"

tries to escape

1d20 + 2 ⇒ (16) + 2 = 18 oh please oh please oh please

Meanwhile Rag-mag moves up to attack.

Attack: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (16) + 3 = 19; Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 4
Attack: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (15) + 3 = 18; Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 2


Xzin frees himself from the Puma's maw, and Rag-Mag brilliantly defends his master (against the blind, stunned Old Man). Skaz closes in on the battle.

The Old Man, being stunned, only drools. The Puma blindly claws at where his meal used to be.

Ramses rides into the courtyard and takes a shot at the Old Man (seeing as he has a certain hate of humans). The arrow hits the Old Man right between the eyes, and he falls drooling to the ground.

Pew: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (19) + 16 = 351d6 + 13 ⇒ (5) + 13 = 18
Pew crit confirmation: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (11) + 16 = 272d6 + 26 ⇒ (4, 6) + 26 = 36


1d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 13

4d6 ⇒ (4, 5, 3, 1) = 13


Smezut Scumsong Bard (Thundercaller)/13 Chevalier/1

Smezut begins singing inspire courage +3

Then trys to squeeze through the bars of the gate

Escape artist: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18


Round 3

Ponies
Quickling
Xzin
Skaz
Puma
Ramses
Tbenox
Smezut


Xzin Rag-mag Xzin-xzoran

Two ponies charge the blind puma while the other two move to block in the Quickling.

Attack: 1d20 + 8 - 1 + 3 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (14) + 8 - 1 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 27; Damage: 1d6 + 7 + 3 + 3 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 7 + 3 + 3 + 1 = 16
Attack: 1d20 + 8 - 1 + 3 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (10) + 8 - 1 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 23; Damage: 1d6 + 7 + 3 + 3 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 7 + 3 + 3 + 1 = 16


The Quickling laughs as he darts around the rock ponies, flips Ramses the bird, and runs up the stairs in the central tower.


Xzin Rag-mag Xzin-xzoran

Xzin orders Rag-mag to check for traps before heading up teh stairs, himself staying back.


Skaz moves up to watch the stairs. Not seeing anything as they curve up along the west wall of the tower, he readies a burst of radiance for enemies that may pop up.

Ramses does the same with his bow.


Trying to squeeze through the portcullis

1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9


Trying again 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6


Smezut, seeing his minion having issues with the portcullis, casts grease on it (the portcullis, not the minion) and moves closer to the tower.

Round 4

Ponies
XXXXX
Quickling
Xzin
Skaz
Ramses
Tbenox
Smezut


As the rock ponies wait for their master, the bottom floor of the central tower fills with gas. It will dissipate after 1 round.


Valiant Xzin sends his loyal eidolon up the stairs by himself. It doesn't come back.

Let me know how long you wait.


After 30 seconds of waiting, Xzin knows Rag-Mag has left this plane of existence.


Xzin then sends up sacrificial rock ponies. 3 of the 4 return, saying the first one just stopped in its tracks. They decided to report to you instead of entering the room up top and thus didn't see anything.


The stench of goblin fear permeates throughout the courtyard, and both Varg and Mr. Flibble rub their noses in the dirt to try to cover it up.

Starting with the NE tower, you begin clearing out the other possible monsters that might be waiting. You find rats and loot that won't help you in this fight but will be listed on the loot list later. You circle clockwise until finally reaching the NW tower.

This tower stretches high into the sky, its upper reaches hidden in the forest's canopy. The vines choking the tower's exterior, which are festooned with bleached humanoid skulls, nearly obscure the dark arrow slits. At ground level, an open wooden door pushes aside the vines to allow you to see inside. The tower is the most intact of those here, though from what you can see its interior wooden floors collapsed long ago. The inside is also covered in vines. Tbnenox points out a patch of vines in the far corner about 10ft off the ground, and your whispers among each other lead you to believe it is an assassin vine. It twitches as though swaying in a gentle breeze.

Mr. Flibble growls as he sniffs the air. It seems as if there is something else in this room other than the plant.

Smezut Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (9) + 6 = 15
Ramses Perception: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (5) + 11 = 16
Skaz Perception: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (6) + 11 = 17
Xzin Perception: 1d20 - 3 ⇒ (11) - 3 = 8
Tbenox Perception: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (19) + 5 = 24
Varg Perception: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (4) + 9 = 13
Mr. Flibble Perception: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (18) + 1 = 19


Round 1

Tbenox
Xzin
Not Assassin Vine
Skaz
Assassin Vine
Ramses
Smezut

Smezut Initiative: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6
Ramses Initiative: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10
Skaz Initiative: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18
Xzin Initiative: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (16) + 4 = 20
Tbenox Initiative: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (16) + 10 = 26
Assassin Vine: 1d20 ⇒ 14
Not Assassin Vine: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (10) + 9 = 19


1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23
1d3 ⇒ 1
Tbenox acid splashes the assassin vine to draw it out of hiding.

Another perception check to see if he notices anything

1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6


Xzin Rag-mag Xzin-xzoran

Xzin follows suit.

Acid Splash: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (16) + 8 = 24
Damage: 1d3 ⇒ 1


Skaz, not really having useful things to do in this situation, delays.

The Assassin Vine, not amused, calls upon its plant brethren to entangle those on the ground. It inches closer to you in hopes that it gets a chance to attack.

Green area is like an entangle spell. DC 13.


Xzin Rag-mag Xzin-xzoran

Reflex Saves on roll 20

Xzin 22, earth elementals 16, 12, 9


Male Goblin Ranger (Skirmisher) / 1

Full attack

attack: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (4) + 10 = 14 damage: 1d6 + 9 ⇒ (2) + 9 = 11

attack: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (1) + 10 = 11 damage: 1d6 + 9 ⇒ (3) + 9 = 12


Smezut begins singing, and gets wrapped up by vines.

Skaz leaves the area of groping plants.

Round 2

Tbenox
Xzin
Rock Ponies
Not Assassin Vine
Assassin Vine
Ramses
Smezut
Skaz

Reflex: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (3) + 8 = 11


Tbenox flees the groping plants, managing to keep them from entangling him.


Xzin Rag-mag Xzin-xzoran

Xzin calls forth a heavenly horse of pure brilliance to strike down fury on the vine (though far enough away that it's aura of menace doesn't hurt Ramses).

Ray of Light: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4; Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 2
Ray of Light: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22; Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 6


The Assassin Vine isn't intelligent, so focuses it's attacks on the lantern archon (pony).


Male Goblin Ranger (Skirmisher) / 1

Full attack

attack: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (8) + 13 = 21 damage: 1d6 + 13 ⇒ (1) + 13 = 14

attack: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (5) + 13 = 18 damage: 1d6 + 13 ⇒ (1) + 13 = 14


With the Assassin Vine killed, the plants return to their natural state. As you search the room for what Mr. Flibble smelled, you are unable to find anything. This includes with Detect Evil.


As you complete your search, Xzin's rock ponies disappear into nothingness.


Smezut Scumsong Bard (Thundercaller)/13 Chevalier/1

"You guys think there are ghosts here? I don't care for ghosts, especially fey ghosts."


Xzin summons up another pair of rock ponies and sends them up the central tower walls. They do not come back.

Having no better ideas, you decide to camp in the bottom floor of the central tower. In the morning, Rag-Mag will be available for summoning and hopefully be able to shed light on what may be upstairs.


During the night, you keep a watch of 2 in hopes of preventing getting jumped. When Xzin and Tbenox are awake, they don't notice the attackers until the attacks happen.

The Quickling, along with a Grimstalker, jump you. Unfortunately for them, that's about all they do before you beat them into a pulp.

Healing up and maintaining momentum, you charge up the stairs. No one is there, but they left a note. It reads, "I bore of this place, all alone with so few that come and visit. It's time I move along, to further the goals of the Mistress. I'll see you soon... if you have the gall to face me next time."

You loot the place, and continue exploring. You leave the Lizardfolk village you leave for last, which will be your next adventure.

Xzin Perception: 1d20 - 3 ⇒ (18) - 3 = 15
Tbenox Perception: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6


A low, muddy hummock protrudes from the middle of the widening river, surrounded by a palisade of outward facing sharpened wooden stakes. Inside, tendrils of smoke arise from a handful of mounds clustered around a single larger mound. A simple wooden gate on the eastern side of the hummock seems to be the only entrance to the fortified island.

Approaching the gate, you are questioned by 2 lizardfolk in broken Common, "Why be you here, mon?"


Smezut sort of mumbles out his typical response, but half assedly as it is but simple peons that question his greatness. The lizardfolk guard open the gate, and point you to the central hut, "Da great king Vesket be in his his crib, mon." They allow you to pass and shut the gate behind you, but do not follow.


Male Goblin Ranger (Skirmisher) / 1

Hey King! I'm tired. Are you good or bad?

Smezut diplomacy: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (6) + 12 = 18


Getting by with a little help from his friends, Smezut introduces himself to King Vesket. The scowl bordering on snarl he had when you walked in has faded to a more neutral look.

Goblin King? I have heard of you. Maybe we could strike a deal..."

Just then, a green light shaped like a crocodile head pops up in the air behind Smezut and above his head head. It screams out, "You fool! These are the foul beasts that have murdered your other ancestral spirits! They are why the lights no longer shine over Candlemere!" as it cattle prods Smezut. Though the appearance differs a bit, it is obviously a Will-o'-Wisp.

Round 1

Smezut
Skaz
Spirit of Stisshak
King Vesket
Blood Caiman
Tbenox
Ramses
Xzin

Zap: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (20) + 16 = 362d8 ⇒ (7, 1) = 8
Must have been like electroshock treatment: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (13) + 16 = 292d8 ⇒ (6, 1) = 7
Smezut Initiative: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23
Ramses Initiative: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (10) + 6 = 16
Skaz Initiative: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28
Xzin Initiative: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 16
Tbenox Initiative: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (6) + 10 = 16
King Vesket: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 2 = 19
Blood Caiman: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (16) + 2 = 18
Spirit of Stisshak: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (8) + 13 = 21


Smezut begins singing as he valiantly steps closer to the door.

Skaz, fearing for his mighty king's life, focuses his attacks on the Will-o-Wisp before it has a chance to go invisible. Varg snatches the thing out of mid air, pulling it to the ground. Though valiant, Skaz misses horribly.

Bite: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (17) + 10 = 271d6 + 11 ⇒ (5) + 11 = 16
Trip: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (19) + 10 = 29
Scimitar: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (1) + 16 = 171d6 + 11 ⇒ (5) + 11 = 16


The Will-o-Wisp blinks out of sight, reappearing a step away and zaps Smezut again. Smezut's hair stands on end from the constant electrical shock, and flashes of his time under the care of Lord Flateroy appear in his mind's eye.

1d20 + 16 ⇒ (9) + 16 = 252d8 ⇒ (4, 2) = 6


During what seems like an eternity of looking back and forth between you and the Will-o-Wisp, King Vesket lets out a mighty roar, takes a step forward, and throws his trident at... the Will-o-Wisp? Of course, he misses horribly but at least the trident returns to his hands... er, claws?

Trident to face: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 192d6 + 10 ⇒ (3, 2) + 10 = 15


The crocodiles seem to be napping at the moment, with their mouths open. You're pretty sure they would eat you if you were to mess with them, but for the moment, they seem content?


Male Goblin Ranger (Skirmisher) / 1

Attacking the will o wisp

attack: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (20) + 13 = 33 damage: 1d6 + 13 ⇒ (5) + 13 = 18
attack: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (5) + 13 = 18 damage: 2d6 + 26 ⇒ (2, 6) + 26 = 34

attack: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (6) + 13 = 19 damage: 1d6 + 13 ⇒ (3) + 13 = 16


Xzin Rag-mag Xzin-xzoran

Xzin calls forth earthen allies, "You die now!"

Earht elemental: 1d20 + 8 - 1 + 4 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 8 - 1 + 4 + 2 = 26; Damage: 1d6 + 7 + 3 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 7 + 3 + 4 = 19
Earht elemental: 1d20 + 8 - 1 + 4 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 8 - 1 + 4 + 2 = 20; Damage: 1d6 + 7 + 3 + 4 ⇒ (4) + 7 + 3 + 4 = 18


Round 2

Smezut
Skaz
Spirit of Stisshak
King Vesket
Blood Caiman
Tbenox
Ramses
Xzin


Smezut Scumsong Bard (Thundercaller)/13 Chevalier/1

"No one makes me bleed my own blood!"

Smezut draws the symbol of his divine right of kings, and slices down upon the will o the wisp with that legendary blade.

Dogslicer attack: 1d20 + 4 + 4 + 2 ⇒ (14) + 4 + 4 + 2 = 241d4 - 1 + 4 ⇒ (3) - 1 + 4 = 6


Xzin Rag-mag Xzin-xzoran

At Smezut's command, Xzin summons forth a lantern archon as Smezut attempts to bluff the lizardfolk into believing the lantern archon is a divine emissary sent to guide them.

Bluff: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (14) + 18 = 32


Against all odds, the lizardfolk react a bit like this.

The tribe gathers for a large party in your honor. There, they shower you with gifts (listed already). They revere Smezut as their new reincarnated ancestor, and Xzin as his prophet who brings the Light of the Ancestors.

The Candlemere Lizardfolk had previously worshiped the Will-o-Wisps as the spirits of their ancestors (they had no idea what the creatures were). The one you slayed in the village had convinced them to do terrible things to appease it, things the lizardfolk didn't want to do. When one poor lizardfolk spoke up, the Will-o-Wisp fried it to death and forced the rest of the tribe to eat it.

In one show of good faith, King Vesket offers his teenage son as a royal captive. His hopes, besides giving you another reason to trust them, is that you will train him to become a brave warrior, worth taking his place in the future. King Vesket knows this may be dangerous, but if his son cannot survive, he's not worthy of leadership. Besides, one of his wives laid another egg recently so he should have another son on the way soon.

In another show of good faith, but also shame (and only after they are sure that you are happy enough in hopes you don't react too negatively...), the lizardfolk bring forth a human child that Ramses immediately recognizes as Tig Tiggersen. The Tiggersens, citizens of Stagsfall, have always had issues with their son. He constantly gets in trouble and runs off. Ramses has had multiple encounters with the boy, though nothing the child has done has been illegal so he would just send him home (some times with Mr. Flibble carrying him with his teeth). This time, the boy had ventured a bit farther than normal, and one of the lizardfolk hunting parties had captured him. This is not uncommon in their hunting grounds - it's semi-well known to avoid these areas lest you be taken by the lizardfolk. This is a practical matter for the lizardfolk, as meat in the swampland they live in can be hard to come by in the necessary quantities (also, they've lived this way in this area for centuries, so who are you to judge :p ). The Will-o-Wisp had them scare the small boy for days, as it fed off his fear. The lizardfolk felt bad; even though they would eat the boy, the things their supposed ancestor was making them do wasn't right but they were too scared of being burnt to a crisp to argue. They hope that the safe return of the boy will smooth over that indiscretion.

Returning the boy to his parents will give you a +2 to Loyalty.

You've been gone about 12 days, your longest exploration foray to date. The kingdom has been running smoothly, and filling in the blanks on the western map was a high priority following the founding of Tatzlford. Usually, your homecomings are met with much fanfare. This time, you see smoke rising in the distance. Not smoke from the foundry, or from the many homes in your city streets, the unmistakable smoke of a building - or buildings - on fire (you're goblins, you know very well what that looks like).

You spur your horses and wolves onward, to see what has happened. Stagsfall is in shambles. The worst of it is over, and reconstruction has already begun. Your council - the PC classed ones anyway - along with Kressle and surprise visits from the Old Beldame (disguised in town to buy choice supplies) and Melianse (the thing had trampled over a couple of rivers and she followed it, attack from the lake when possible), the beast that attacked Stagsfall was driven off before it could destroy anything. Several people died, and buildings were damaged, but the chaos has mostly subsided. Ysmenta has been working overtime, with liberal applications of mending and make whole spells to repair the damage.

The beast that attacked was an Owlbear of immense proportion, easily the biggest any have ever heard of. Its trail through your lands is as easy to follow as the path of destruction through Stagsfall. Some citizens believe that it came for the one in your castle - though Skaz, Ramses, and Xzin may have been working with it, it still has an annoying habit of incessant hooting. Maybe the Owlbears are related or something, but many citizens are calling for it to be put to death. Others see it as part of the kingdom, since it's been with you since the beginning. The path of destruction doesn't show it heading to the castle, but then again, it was quickly under attack from city defenders so it may have been dissuaded. The massive Owlbear was injured and driven off, not killed. The council could have pursued it, but the injured citizens came first and they didn't want to leave the city undefended.

The citizens demand justice, which in there mind equals a dead owlbear (or two).

It is now up to you to decide how long you may take to prep before following the Owlbear's tracks. This will of course happen during a KT, but we will do that after the Owlbear situation is handled. I decided to forego with destroying buildings from the owlbear attack, because I didn't like the rules on it. Besides, you have several powerful or at least comparative NPCs around that can take care of business. This way, there is a little less of the "why do we even have town guards and such if we are the only people that can actually defend this place?" type issues.


Male Goblin Ranger (Skirmisher) / 1

Ramses grabs the boy by his scuff and puts him on the pony. He will see the boy is returned to his family....after a stern talking to.


While you aid in the repair of Stagsfall, you also have time to better equip yourself before taking care of the Owlbear. There are many speeches and much fanfare as you rally the citizens in an effort to raise morale. You leave Stagsfall under a shower of flowers and cheers, and more than one burning effigy of an owlbear.

It's path of destruction is still easy to follow, especially with a few stray feathers for Varg and Mr. Flibble in her pretty pink bonnet to sniff. A few days of travel to the southeast bring you to a cave, easily large enough for the Owlbear.

Time to see if Owlbear really is the other white meat.

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