GM..Silbeg's We Be Goblins, Too (PbP Superstars) (Inactive)

Game Master Silbeg

Bad time for a bad initiative roll... Would love to use speak with animals to see if we even need to fight this thing... of course, that just lets me talk to it, it won't necessarily join our cause just cuz I can "sqeal like a pig".

Was going to link the youtube to that, but vomited instead.

The big-headed goblin's face perks up, seeing the colossal beast not far away. Quietly she moves her knobby, pimple-covered hand to the hilt of her trusty dogslicer, and makes ready to make this piggy squeal if it should charge Poog.

"Stand behind Reta, Poog," she says, adjusting her stance to be more obviously defensive, making it clear she is ready to draw her dogslicer. "Reta make bacon if piggy attack chief. I defend you..."

The big-headed goblin readies to defend her chief...

Oh, you guys are too much!

The great boar grabs one of the gourds that are hanging from its color, and chews it up. It looks ready to charge.

Party is up (except for Poog).

"If Poogie gave Chuffy necklace, Chuffy could do something other than hide," grumbles Chuffy to no-one in particular.

Chuffy crouches down and moves into position behind a stump, trying his best to hide from the Piggy (and whoever else might be watching). Time to try out new elf cloak. Must remember to roll in pig muck after... cloak still stink of elf.

Chuffy stealth: 1d20 + 23 ⇒ (20) + 23 = 43

Holy sh•t, the dice LOVE me! I am immortal! Mwa ha ha.... oh, just remembered what happened last time I posted that with Chuffy. ;-)

Not even Chuffy's companions can spot the sneaky little goblin as he blends in perfectly with the wood of the tree.

Rita moves south, drawing her bow as she does. Trying to get where she has a clear shot, she nocks an arrow. Surprisingly, Poog's back comes up in her sight to begin with. Though tempted, she twitches the bow to the right, getting the pig lined up, ready to fire if and when it should charge.

Note: on your readied spoilers, it would help to format it like this

"Ooooh, piggy, piggy, piggy, come here fat piggy piggy. Mogmurch gonna eat you. You are gonna taste so good crispy. Ummmmmm"

Moving to where Chuffy was a moment ago, Mogmurch moves into position. Quickly mixing one vial into another, smoke starts to rise out of it. The nearby goblins hear his insane cackle.

"Hhahahahahahah! Watch piggy BURN. BOOOOMS!."

Bomb w/ range penalty: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (19) + 8 - 4 = 23
Bomb damage (fire) DC 13: 2d6 + 2 ⇒ (6, 5) + 2 = 13

Waiting on Reta... who's readied action has not gone off. Will wait until 14:00CST, and then will delay her.

Just you wait, Piggy! Chuffy gonna stick you real good! Mogmurch burns, but dagger burns when slips inside yous! Chuffy love bacon! Chuffy love ham! Chuffy love... "P..." Chuffy nearly yells "Pork Chops" before remembering that he's trying to be quiet so he can sneak up on Piggy.

He instead draws his blade and bides his time... knowing that the pig must be about to charge his hapless friends, Piggies always charge! Is what piggies do! Why this piggy eating pumpkin?

The pig moves up near the goblins, and suddenly belches out great gouts of fire!
fire damage, 15' cone: 2d6 ⇒ (1, 6) = 7
Reflex Poog: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 24
Reflex Mogmurch: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (7) + 7 = 14
Reflex Reta: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15

None of the three seem to take the full brunt of the flames.

Party is up.

Chuffy peeks out from cover with his crossbow to snipe at the boar, Squeal piggy! he thinks, remembering this time to stay silent.

Crossbow, vs Flat-Footed: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10 -- I'm assuming Piggy didn't spot me with a 43 on my stealth check!
Sneak attack damage if successful: 1d3 + 2d6 ⇒ (1) + (2, 6) = 9

Oof! Don't think a 10 will hit much, even flat-footed. Kinda comforting to know the dice can still roll bad for my PCs and there aren't Paizo.com forum staff looking out for me in some way.

The sneaky Chuffy quickly ducks back behind his tree trunk, barely suppressing a curse at having (likely) missed the boar.

Stealth check (sniping): 1d20 + 23 - 20 ⇒ (10) + 23 - 20 = 13

You know, sniping! Not normally viable, but with a +23, why not at least try?

Poog snarls at the firebreathing pig.

"Weee Weeeeeee You gonna wish you didn't do that you pile of bacon!"

Poog circles around the tree to the other side of the pig, pulling out his flaming dogslicer on the way.

"Horieť'!" the goblin sneers, and the flames on the sword jump to life. Once he gets around, the vile little goblin takes a hack at the oversized pig.

Attack: 1d20 + 4 + 1 ⇒ (12) + 4 + 1 = 17 for Damage, flaming: 1d4 + 1 + 1d6 ⇒ (4) + 1 + (2) = 7

"Reta come flank the bacon, NOW!" Poog the chief shouts out his first real order in combat.

+1 on attack is Poogs trait - ignore if the pig isn't medium sized...

does the +23 include the +5 for the cloak?

Rita, resigning herself to the pig not cooperating with her wanting it to hang out in the open, moves to a closer vantage point before letting loose a shot, trying to avoid her goblin companions.

Shortbow: 1d20 + 8 + 1 - 4 - 4 ⇒ (9) + 8 + 1 - 4 - 4 = 10
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Reta cannot believe the explosion of fire from the piggy, and screams with anger at seeing her sizzling pimples and rashes. She steps close to the piggy, drawing her godslicer, and swings for the creature.

attack(dogslicer): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 19
damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

does the +23 include the +5 for the cloak?

Yes indeed it does. Not a great roll, though. I think the dice are swinging back around the other way... ah well, it was an awesome run of excellent d20 rolls (in all the games I was playing!). John's turn now. ;-)

Pig try to BOOM me. Pig gonna die like all those things Poog killed. Gonna watch Piggy BOOOMS! Winding up, pouring once foul smelling vial into another, Mogmurch lets fly.

Bomb: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 19
Bomb damage (fire) DC 13: 2d6 + 2 ⇒ (6, 3) + 2 = 11

"Gobbos, lookie out. Here comes the BOOOMS"

Splash damage is 4, Reflex save for half.

Not wanting to get burned again, he quickly retreats.

Chuffy stifles his giggles only to have them throw his aim off, as his crossbow bolt flies to the sky. He tries to stay under cover, but doesn't know if he succeeded. Poog moves to attack the fire-breathing pig, but his stab bounces off the pigs barding. Rita tries to shoot the pig, but misses, wildly. Reta attacks and misses, but recovers herself, and hits the second time! Finally, Mogmurch lets fly a BOOM, hitting the pig as well as Poog and Reta.

(FYI - bombs have a range increment of 20', so Mogmurch was at -2 on his attack -- still hit, but letting you know)
Poog Reflex DC13: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 24 (saves - takes 2)
Reta Reflex DC13: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 4 = 10 (fails - takes 4)

The pig now attempts to gore Chief Poog, since he is brandishing a flaming weapon (and the pig isn't quite smart enough to realize that isn't where the fire that is hurting him came from).
GORE!: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (18) + 7 = 25 piercing: 1d8 + 6 ⇒ (1) + 6 = 7
The pig strikes the cleric in the leg with his tusk, opening up a horrendous wound.

Party is up!

Rita moves to get a clear shot on the pig, glad that it is goring the mighty chief and not her. Her mouth waters as Mogmurch's bomb hits the pig squarely, the swine's charred hide smelling quite flavorful.

Shortbow, PB Shot, Melee penalty: 1d20 + 8 + 1 - 4 ⇒ (6) + 8 + 1 - 4 = 11
Damage + PB Shot: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

Move action to current position, standard to fire.

Reta steps close again, wobbling awkwardly on her legs and simultaneously recoiling from the searing pain of the bomb, taking a halfhearted swings at the piggy.

move action: 5-foot step up to the pig *token not yet moved*

attack(dogslicer): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (1) + 8 = 9
damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

"Gaaahhh" Poog squeals as the pig gores his leg.

"Stupid piggy! Not gonna be War Chief Poog's mount now!"

Poog steps back from the dangerous creature and waggles his fingers.

"Piggy STAY! See? Andimals know to listen to Poog cuz he be chief."

5' step back, Cast hold animal, DC 14 Will

Just admiring your post, hyperlinked and all +1

Just admiring your post, hyperlinked and all +1

I edited it to.. check out the spoiler. Hyperlink IN the dice roll... *brushes shoulder off*

:slow clap: as "We are the Champions" plays in the background

Yes, very impressive. :D
Rita and Reta try to impress the others with their martial-twins powers... but fail.

Piggy save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 11 (stupid pig)
After Poog finishes wiggling his fingers, dancing around, and showing off his holy symbol of Zarongel Piggy stops moving. Not as in dead, but standing eerily still, making no movement nor noise.

Mogmurch and Chuffy are still up.

It remains to be seen if Chief Poog's orders are followed. That will happen AFTER Piggy's turn, if neither Chuffy and Mogmurch attack (and maybe if they do?)

READ THE SPOILER! LISTEN TO YOUR CHIEF!!! :)

Beautiful post, Steve. Hope it didn't take you too long!

Chuffy comes out from his hiding spot (that piggy definitely didn't see him in) and creeps up to the piggy. He gets into a flanking position with Poog.

"Chuffy help if Poogie need it," says the pimply and pragmatic goblin, "But Poogie chief... to be... and Chuffy obey." For now.

Chuffy makes ready to slice the pig up if Poog doesn't quite manage to kill it.

Since Coup de grace is a full round action, Mogmurch cannot attack

"Stupid chief, why you no kill yourself, all high and and might. You try kill all of us when we become Bridkillers. Why you suck now?"

With Chuffy and Mogmurch readying (Mogmurch, please note your ready conditions in the spoiler label, not in the spoiler body. Thank you), Piggy tries to shake of the magical spell.
Piggy Will save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (15) + 4 = 19 (full round action)
The pig starts moving again, but cannot act.

Poog may not CdG as it is no longer helpless.

Poog, then rest of party.

Piggy save should be constitution to save vs CdG, not will... Chuffy's readied action was to attempt if mine did not kill it...

The pig made its save to break the hold person before you could CDG. Stab-ilize it!

The pig made its save to break the hold person before you could CDG. Stab-ilize it!

Correct

Still stunned and dumbfounded that the piggy stopped fighting for a moment, Reta attempts a halfhearted swing not knowing if she should now attack it or keep waiting...

"Err... Umm..." she says, swinging with the blade with little or no effort.

attack(dogslicer): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (2) + 8 = 10
damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

Rita hesitates, unsure of what to do now that the pig has started moving again. Seeing Reta's half-hearted swing, Rita squeals in delight, moving to get a better vantage point on the swine before firing another arrow. She can practically taste the pork chops! "Quit moving, you slub-suckers, or Rita will shoot you in the ass!"

Shortbow + PB Shot - Fire into Melee: 1d20 + 8 + 1 - 4 ⇒ (15) + 8 + 1 - 4 = 20
Damage + PB Shot: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

Someone please Lockwood me two left and two down. Move, then shoot.

Moved you a little more, so that you have a clear shot.

Reta is still a bit... cautious... in her attacks, while Rita finally lands a shot on the rump of the boar.

Poog and Chuffy are still up. Poog's CdG never happened, since it was not a legal action.

Poog growls as the animal freezes momentarily, then breaks the spell over it.

"Poog gonna cut you!" He shouts before stepping back up to the pig.

Attack, Goblin Bravery, Flank: 1d20 + 4 + 1 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 4 + 1 + 2 = 15 for Damage, fire: 1d4 + 1 + 1d6 ⇒ (2) + 1 + (2) = 5

Stupid dice... ugh.

Chuffy stays in flank with Poog, and tries to cut out a choice slice of ham for his Bramblemas dinner.

Chuffy dogslicer vs Piggie, flank: 1d20 + 8 + 2 ⇒ (16) + 8 + 2 = 26
Dogslicer damage: 1d4 - 1 + 2d6 ⇒ (2) - 1 + (1, 3) = 5

Finally, a goblin lands a blow... but still the pig doesn't go down.

It turns to the most dangerous target, squealing loudly, but cannot get to Mogmurch. So, instead, he moves and attacks Chuffy!

Gore: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17

And misses.

Goblins are up.

"Is we attacking?" questions Reta aloud, dumbfounded as to what is going on. The enormously big-headed goblin steps closer to the piggy and again swings her dogslicer with almost zero effort. "Or is we attacking not?"

As her blade moves at the creature it appears as though she maybe trying to tickle it.

move action: 5-foot step up to the piggy *token not net moved*
standard action: attack with dogslicer

attack(dogslicer): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (1) + 8 = 9
damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

EDIT: Sorry if you've seen all the flip-flop posts. I didn't notice that things had moved on the tactical map. So I posted again. Then I forgot about Reta's need for a Lockwood. Lockwooded her... final post below. Then noticed I needed to change Chuffy's movement because I Lockwooded her into an illegal position! Sorry all around!

"Ha! Piggie can't hit Chuffy!" cries Chuffy in delight as he dodges this way and that. Suddenly, Chuffy repositions himself, diving to the side and then behind the pig.

Move action, acrobatics to get around piggie. Directly due west, then diagonal to south-west - 10 ft total, through piggie's square.

Acrobatics vs CMD+5: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (19) + 10 = 29 -- If it's CMD is 25+ it gets an AoO vs Chuffy.

Just as Piggie turns to check what Reta is doing on its flank, the mean-spirited goblin dives forwards with his blade to find yet another choice cut!

Chuffy dogslicer vs Piggie, flank: 1d20 + 8 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 8 + 2 = 20
Dogslicer damage: 1d4 - 1 + 2d6 ⇒ (3) - 1 + (1, 3) = 6

Rita growls as the others keep flopping around, side-stepping to get a clear shot before releasing her bow string.

Shortbow, PB Shot, Fire into Melee: 1d20 + 8 + 1 - 4 ⇒ (11) + 8 + 1 - 4 = 16
Damage + PB Shot: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Sidestep 5 ft to the right, fire at piggy.

Mogmurch surveys the scene.

This is how it should be. Piggy burning. Mogmurch make him go BOOMS, stupid goblins trying to hit it. They gonna get a face full of fire soon. Mogmurch safe in back. Maybe piggie kill goblins. Then Mogmurch be King of BOOOMS!.

"Um... Mogmurch need minute. Drop super breakable potion that kill piggie. Gonna look for it. Be right there. You keep hitting good." Mogmurch drops to all four, acting as if he is looking for a dropped potion.

"Stupids, piggie gonna get fatter before Morgmuch kills it!"

Chuffy tubles around, and gets into position where he can once again catch the pig in a flank. His stab is almost deflected by the leather barding the pig is wearing, but not quite. The pig squeals, and looks very woosey. It is quite literally bleeding like a stuck pig, but still on its feet.

oops -- missed that you had all gone
The pig withdraws, running away... bleeding.
Piggy DC11: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5

Goblins are up!

Rita hoots and hollers as the pig starts to run away, moving forward with her bow as she finally gets her first clear shot of the fight.

Shoot Bow, PB Shot: 1d20 + 8 + 1 ⇒ (16) + 8 + 1 = 25
Damage, PB Shot: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Move to beside Reta, fire bow

Rita fires a shot into the side of the pig after getting a lockwood and hits the beast. Still it doesn't go down!

Chuffy throws caution to the wind and charges the stuck pig, "Piggy no escape! Chuffy hungry!"

Charge action.

Chuffy, doglsicer, charge: 1d20 + 8 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 8 + 2 = 30
Crit confirm: 1d20 + 8 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 8 + 2 = 13
Damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0 =1 damage, since that is the minimum.
Crit damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0 =1 damage, since that is the minimum.

Wow. I hate that strength penalty and a 1d4 damage die! Ew. A likely only 1 damage when I rolled a 20!!! Stinky.

Wow. I hate that strength penalty and a 1d4 damage die! Ew. A likely only 1 damage when I rolled a 20!!! Stinky.

Wow... that doesn't even seem fair... remind me to never play a goblin... WBG series is plenty of goblin flavor for me... :)

"Hear my voice piggy and DIE"

As Poog speaks, he draws his wand of sound burst out, discretely casting it at the pig, emphasizing the word die just as the cacophonous boom erupts on the swine.

Sonic Damage, unavoidable: 1d8 ⇒ 2 + DC14 Fortitude save to avoid being stunned for 1 round