GM Captain Trips |
Word spread quickly, even for the chaotic mess that is the loose community of goblin tribes in the coastal region of Varisia that surround the town of Sandpoint. A call had come to all tribes that Ripnugget, greatest of the Thistletop goblins, had a plan that would surely spell doom for the pesky humans of Sandpoint. A plan that would lead the goblin tribes to the city and beyond! A plan that involved looting and eating and burning! And my, how they responded. Like a tide the goblins from the area flowed to the keep called Thistletop. Little goblins, big goblins, smart goblins, stoopid, goblins; all converging on the magnificent goblin fort on the rocky island. All wanting for the chance to pillage and burn, kill and main, bite and chew.
Those goblins who were deemed worthy enough (meaning they didn’t drool overly much and had the common sense not to stab themselves during the testing process) were taken before the great and mighty Ripnugget, to be evaluated. This was their chance to be included in the great massacre to come, their chance to cast off the shackles of their race and rise above, their chance to taste human flesh.
Seated atop the high and mighty wobble-throne, Ripnugget cast his glance across each goblin sent before him, his thick arms crossing his chest, looking down, far down, to the goblins at his feet as the pleaded and begged, showed their skills, and fought with one another. The chaos of dozens of goblins pushing, biting, and kicking was a thrill for the goblin warchief to see. So many of his kind ready to take the fight to the humans.
The first scene involves the PCs, as goblins, making their case to Ripnugget to be included in the raids to come. You are surrounded by at least 30 other goblins, all talking and screaming at the same time as you. You will need to stand out, to get his attention, if you are to be selected.
Gretcha Crazyeyes |
Gretcha saunters her way to the front of the other goblins, many of whom get out of her way as she is well known as one of the chief's consorts. She goes right up to Ripnugget and says:
"Great Warchief Ripnugget already knows why Gretcha should go kill the longshanks. She told him last night, and night before, and night before. But Gretcha understand why Warchief must treat her equally with other gobbos, and respects that. Reasons that Gretcha should go:
One: Gretcha will make longshanks stab each other instead of stabbing gobbos.
Two: Gretcha can interrogate longshank prisoners and make them squeal like Nord!
Three: Unlike other idiot gobbos here, Gretcha can count to three!
Obviously, Gretcha inval... inval.. USEFUL for mission!"
GM Captain Trips |
I find it funny Gretcha knows interrogate but not invaluable. :P
From high high up on the wobble-throne Ripnugget eyes Gretcha down below, making her case. "Oh ho! Yes, Gretcha makes cut! Gretcha makes with waggle-finger at longshanks! Is good to have Gretcha in war party!" the overly strong and simple-minded goblin chief belts out. "Guards! Gretcha for fight!" he yells, at which point a pair of melon-headed goblins grab Gretcha and drag her through the mass of goblin bodies in the main room and into a side room.
Mugmuff Darktalon |
"great chief Ripnugget, i is Mugmuff, slayer of many brightlight longshanks. Mugmuff sneakiest gobbo... go where other gobbos afeered go. Know Sand city well.. Mugmuff raid many times there." He adopts a non-threatening, but not obsequious stance, arms crossed, foot tapping (think Sonic) while he waits to be picked...
Beeg Bada Boom |
Beeg Bada Boom looked around him with the confident swagger of someone who knew he was better than everyone else here and at the same time a nervousness that spoke of being surrounded by more goblins than he could kill if he needed to protect Da Boom!. Da Boom! was life.
Mustering his courage and his self-importance, Beeg pushed forward through the crowd, the bobbing metal tower of his musket sticking out above the crowd marking his way, until he reached the forefront and stared up at the chief with his mismatched eyes.
"Beeg Boss You-guy Rippynuggy, I Beeg Bada Boom, Seven Tooth gobbo," he says, standing before the chief. He slams the butt of Da Boom! on the ground. "Beeg should go on da thingy 'cause Beeg sooper smurt. Dis be longshanks boomer. Beeg kills longshanks and takes it and can USE IT!" Beeg raises the musket over his head, sets it down on his shoulder, accidentally knocking a goblin behind him on the head. "You wants Beeg go."
GM Captain Trips |
The chief continue to scan the throng of noisy goblins before him, throwing bits of food at some, even shooting a hand crossbow into the face of another. Hearing Mugmuff's calm claim he shouts, "Bah! Why you's so special? You say you's is sneaky, but you's get caughts! Longshanks put pokey things in the bad place! Mugmuff needs make proof!" says the goblin chief, shaking his head at Mugmuff.
Ripnugget turns to Beeg and for a moment looks a bit dumbfounded at the sight of a goblin with a human firearm, but his eyes light up with excitement at the sight of it, "Beeg! You's steal longshank boomer! You says you can use, but needs proofs! Make booms on his face!" he shouts, and points at a particularly bored looking goblin standing outside of the herd of screaming and shouting goblins.
Mugmuff Darktalon |
While Ripnugget is paying attention to Beeg, Mugmuff disappears into the crowd, and then sneaks up and around behind the wobbly throne. He pokes Ripnugget in the side with his finger and shouts "Supprize!!! If that be'd knife, Great Chief be dead.. .but me's only proving sneakinest. Great Chief Ripnuggy have enough proofs now?"
stealth: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (12) + 13 = 25
Mugmuff Darktalon |
climb: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (18) + 1 = 19
GM Captain Trips |
Mugmuff carefully scales the wobbling chair, which is really about six human-sized chairs all stacked on top of one another. The entire mess is festooned with ribbons, scraps of clothing, and shining bits of metal. As he nears the top he jabs a finger into Ripnugget and whispers something to him.
"Mugmuff is master sneak! Hims go on raid and finds longshank guards, sneaks and makes map!" With that he gives the goblin at his side a shove, sending him toppling down from the wobble-throne and onto the ground, where he is unceremoniously grabbed by two large goblin guards and hauled off into a side room.
Gretcha sees another goblin hauled into the room with her, breaking her brief period of goblin solitary confinement.
Mugmuff Darktalon |
Mugmuff smiles as he's grabbed and carried off.. winks at pretty girl gobbo as he goes by her and then sees Gretcha as he's unceremoniously dumped in the room with her and he grinz a big gobbo grin.
"Hullo. You's Gretcha. Me heard. Me's Mugmuff... can call Mugs. We's gonna kill and eats many longshanks, yes!"
Mugmuff Darktalon |
Mugmuff looks sidewise at Gretcha, laughs. "Big Chief say Gretcha 'IN' war party, not lead war party. But Mugs not care who leads... Gretcha say leader and no one else says leader, Gretcha be leader... else fight. Mugs not care." He shrugs but grinz at the thought of a fight for leadership.
Beeg Bada Boom |
Beeg spind the rifle from his shoulder, clobbering two more goblins on accident as he does, and takes aim at the designated goblin. Despite the length and weight of the musket, taller than he is, his aim is steady and he fires.
Attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 241d12 ⇒ 8
Bart Bighead |
Bart gatherers a few rocks to try and stand on to get himself to be a little bit taller, than his already tall handsome gobliny self.
Bart then shouts at the top of his lungs "Bart Big Head, Biggest and Bestest Goblin for warparty!"
Right about then one of the overly large festering pimple-like sores on his head bursts, leaving pus running down the right side of his head.
Undeterred, Bart continues "Bart Bighead chosen of Lady Lastbreath, the greatest and mightiest Zogmugot!"
As to further submit his awesomeness, Bart breaks into Song
"Goblins eat and Goblins fight
Goblins beat and Goblinsbite.
Longshanks Die, we steal their pie!"
GM Captain Trips |
Beeg levels the firearm and takes aim on the unsuspecting goblin while Ripnugget watches on in delight. With a slow pull of the musket's trigger he fires off a shot, a thundering explosion echoing in the cramped room. The bullet flies true, nearly taking the goblin's head off as it splatters bone and, albeit somewhat limited, brain matter all over the wall. For a second the room is completely silent, save for the resounding report of the shot. One goblin, amazed by the spectacle, lets its jaw drop, a half of a rotted pickle falling out of the suddenly open orifice. As if snapped from a trance the rest of the goblins around him drive to the floor in an effort to claim the lost snack.
"Beeg! You be bestest goblin sharpeye! You's kill de longshanks from the fars fars aways! Hims in raid! BOOM!" cackles the goblin leader. As if on queue, a pair of goblins grab Beeg by the arms and haul him away to a room adjacent to the gathering place, where he joins the other waiting raid members.
GM Captain Trips |
Over the crowd the chief sees Bart, standing defiantly, despite the pus running into his eye. "Yous Bart! Why for is Bart bestest gob for raid? What make hims so 'portant? Sure hims sing, but no needs song, needs war!" crows the goblin on the wobble-throne, gazing at the pimple-headed goblin.
Beeg Bada Boom |
Beeg does not resist his escorts, and when he is brought into the next room, he grabs a battered horn that hangs from a leather strap, uncorks it, and carefully pours black powder into the barrel of the musket. Once that is complete, he corks the horn, produces a metal ball and a wad of cloth from a pocket and uses a long metal rod to stuff the ball wrapped in cloth into the barrel of the musket.
Reloading complete, Beeg returns the musket to his shoulder and eyes the other two that had already been picked. "Dat boom were Beeg, he proclaims proudly.
Mugmuff Darktalon |
"Beeg sure be louds. Hard be sneaky sneaky when go boom." Mugmuff looks at Beeg, head tilted to the side and blinks.
Bart Bighead |
Bart shouts in a singing Goblin voice
"Bart Bighead have biggest head!
Best for War, make longshanks dead
Light a fire, leave them nothing but a death pyre!"
While singing Bart sets up one of his precious star candle fireworks and lets it fire at the ceiling.
1: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10
2: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 24
3: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (15) + 6 = 21
4: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10
Raw Maw Razzortooth |
A truly enormous goblin pushes easily to the front of the crowd. Over five feet tall with arms that look like they belong on a fit adult human not a goblin, and a round belly that seems to visibly shrink.
In a deep voice. "MMMMMM. Meze RawMAW Razzortooth, Seven teef clan. I go war party. I kiilz longshankz and I eatz ALL! of the food."
Mugmuff Darktalon |
Mugmuff chuckles. "Easy by sneaky if gobbos look wrong place cause Beeg be loud too. You okay, Beeg. Me Mugmuff, can call Mugs."
GM Captain Trips |
The whole room stands amazed by the star candle as it fires off sparks and colors, drawing several "Oooohs" and "Aaahhhhs" from the gathered goblins. Before long the sparks begin to tear and burn at the wooden ceiling and most of the goblins begin to scramble to get clear of any falling debris, while a few stand and cheer, hoping for the consuming flames to spread.
The chief pulls his eyes from the spectacle, saying "Bart! Yous be havins the bestest sparklesticks! Yous be burning the longshanks with sparklesticks! Yous in raid!" On queue, Bart is grabbed, drug off, and tossed into a room with several other goblins, still holding the smoldering star candle. Through the open door the goblins can see guards tossing buckets of water on the ceiling in an effort to put out the flaming mess before the place goes up like a torch.
Slapping his hands together the chief addresses the next goblin, "You! Fatso! Yous wants go on raid and eats the longshanks? Yous makin the promises of not eating the gobs? No can spares gobs for fatso snacks!"
Mugmuff Darktalon |
When Bart gets tossed in the room, Mugmuff looks at him with a grin. "Nice fires you make" When it gets quieter outside after all the fires are out, Mugmuff shrugs. "Does that mean we it?" He screws up his face and counts on his fingers as he looks around at the others. "One... two... three...... MANY! That good, we be many for killing longshanks."
Minimaster Torch |
Sorry, didn't realize we had started...
Torch looked about at the crowd... so many gobbos. How to get noticed? Then, an idea came to him. He quickly drew a strange mixture from the pouch at his side and drained it in a single swig. In the next instant, he belched loudly, expelling a gout of flame that reignited the rafters.
"Minimaster Torch make big fires, you betcha!" he says, beaming with pride.
Bart Bighead |
Bart follows Mug's math out loud...
"One... two... many... LOTS! Lots of Goblins to kill Longshanks with."
GM Captain Trips |
Seeing the impressive display of fire breathing the chief claps his hands together repeatedly, "Oh yes! Fire breathing gobs! We will burn the longshanks to bits and pieces! Torch their houses and make many big fires! Yous is on raid Torch, you burn them all for Ripnugget!" says the goblin from high up on the wobble-throne. Too afraid to actually grab the fire-breathing goblin, the guards give him a poke and point to the side room, pushing him along to join the others.
Everyone except Raw Maw is now together. Hopefully he will join you soon! :)
Gretcha Crazyeyes |
Just incase Raw Maw didn't realize it, the chief already talked to him:
..."You! Fatso! Yous wants go on raid and eats the longshanks? Yous makin the promises of not eating the gobs? No can spares gobs for fatso snacks!"
Gretcha Crazyeyes |
"Gretcha just impressed that Bighead can count past two. Bighead, you my new favorite. You do what Gretcha says, you get rewards. You like?"
Gretcha winks at Bart, giving her best goblin-come-hither stare.
Bart Bighead |
Annoyed that the other goblins aren't solely paying attention to him Bart starts singing again
"Bart eat stupid longshank
Bart rob bigest man bank.
After they have all fled
Bart have biggest head!"
Soon all goblins realize how great Bart Bighead is.
GM Captain Trips |
I'm going to move on rather than waiting for Raw Maw. If he posts later we can flashback. For now he is in limbo pending a post.
After a few minutes of waiting, no other goblins enter the room. You each begin to think this was some sort of joke, just to see how long you will stay put or if you will resort to eating each other. Then, with a sudden CRASH the door to the room flies open and in struts Ripnugget with his two trusty guards. He beams a big gobliny smile at the assembled group and says, in hushed tones, "Okays, here is big secret. Yous is goblin secret forces. Yous do special missions for gobs and makes prep-prepa-prepil...you gonna does stuff!" The chief then pulls out a ragged looking piece of material, which you realize to be some sort of skin, and rolls it out, holding it in front of you. On the map are crude scribbles which show a dotted line leading from Thistletop to a place below it marked loot.
"Nows, yous gobs is goes to junkpile on beach. Yous finds lots of longshanks weapons and treasure. Brings back to Ripnugget for gob war. If yous find longshanks, kill, but must hide body. No can lets thems finds out about secret plans." he looks around the room ay the assembled goblins, "Gots it?"
Minimaster Torch |
"Gots it!" Torch confirms excitedly. "Kill longshanks, eat body so other longshanks not know."
Bart Bighead |
Bart nods.
"We go prepa-do stuff, dispose of evidence and return with loot."
Raw Maw Razzortooth |
Retcon!
As chief Ripnugget barks at him to not eat other gobs, Raw Maw stops mid chomp on a runty little gob who's shrieks were drowned out by the bustling crowd. Dropping the little monster, it scurried away.
With downcast eyes and a sullen tone the monstrosity says, "Raw Maw swear not eat other raid gobs."
Mugmuff Darktalon |
"Gots it.. We sneaks in.. gets longshanks weapons and other loots in junkpile and brings back... Hides bodies if kills longshanks."
GM Captain Trips |
Looks like all the goblins are in the affirmative for killing and looting, who'd have thought?
The troop of melon-headed nasties depart from Thistletop with the secret map that Ripnugget provided them. Unfortunately once they leave the immediate area it pretty much does them no good, since it's simply a downward drawn dotted line. Which way was down? However, a few of the goblins present from the Seven Teeth (Tooths?) tribe were familiar with the place, and they fearlessly led the way south.
After several hours of travel, twice getting lost and once ending up back at Thistletop, the troop manages to arrive on the outskirts of Sandpoint. Following the coast they head down to Junk's Edge, otherwise known as Junk Beach. Here the stupid longshanks throw all sorts of useful stuff over a cliff and onto the beach below, where it is slowly washed away by the tide.
The map is up. You have arrived at just before low tide, not that that means anything to a goblin. But the piles of refuse are displayed on the map. These are considered difficult terrain. Your objective, search through the refuse without killing yourselves, and don't get caught!
GM Captain Trips |
Mugmuff Darktalon |
awww, you used our paizo messageboard icons... i had an awesome goblin ninja picture picked out... anyway with an url link, you can make the word 'gobbo!' a link to it instead so it's even easier to access, as it will be in your posting line for every post.
Mugmuff Darktalon |
Mugmuff slips forward silently toward the closest pile, cautious of other goblins who might be in the area as well as other predators... He keeps a sharp eye out for trouble, especially that red crab to the west of him, lol
perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 = 22
stealth: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (12) + 13 = 25
Mugmuff WAS trained in Sandpoint, so if that gives him any insight into what might be where on the outskirts of town, let me know and I will roll knowledge local when called for
Bart Bighead |
Bart will sneak along through the bushes, not quite willing to raid the trash yet in case they are really longshank traps, or trash mimic-piles, or rust golems or...
Stealth Take 10 = 22