"Mixitation is a concept of yesterday, this is the new state of the art in cooking."
"My dear friend, Gobbletor. I have heard of people reading with a voracious appetite, but even those people don't eat their books! Please my friend, you know I am a connoisseur of fine foods, and your cooking has a special place in my heart, but you must know that I am still a halfling. I still need those great traditional folk recipes at the heart of a meal. I do not have the appetite for eating food that tastes mostly like paper. Please continue your experimentation, but please consider using items that are known to get fine results. You know, things like nutmeg, paprika, oregano, rosemary, or thyme. These are things that give life to a dish. Don't even bother with ingredients like bark, dirt, or crushed parchment. Even I can tell you that your results will not be good in any way. Please, Chef Gobbletor, please show me what you can do without paper products!"
"We need to talk about Andoran magic paper and where to get rid of it, not 'cooking', unless this is some strange code. We have been down into peril where many have now been dispatched into the afterlife, much blood and anguish has been invested, and all anyone wants to do is stand here and talk about food. I'll tell you what is best, what is freshest, Chef, and that is the pumping blood from a racing heart as your incisors tear into living flesh and slice it from the bone, it is the zing of the adrenaline coursing through the veins of your snack, and it is the music of the meals death rattle in your ears as the life slowly exits from its cooling body... that is appreciating a meal. How fresh are you because all this waiting is making me peckish."
"You know what gives life to a dish, Kyren, LIFE"
Alchy starts staring at Turodan every expectantly, the next conversation will probably be either about Andoran Bills of Freedom, or how delicious Turodan was when served with a nice chianti.
As there is an awkward moment of silence BErry chimes in sheerfully. "Don't mind him. Our elf has aggression issues we'll be getting him neutered when we get the time and proper tools.!" ^_^
Taking off his helmet-mask, Kenta smooths his mustache with one hand. Offhandedly but with an inscrutable tone that means you cannot ken if it is truthful or in jest "Eh, manflesh not so tasty... too tough."
Smiling as he looks at the pair "Any money for the piece of paper?"
"And forget not friend Alcheringa, the very necessary death that must accompany such esctatic bloodletting, the death that provides meaning to the life that was lived." Tal'Zeneb intones solemnly.
Taking off his helmet-mask, Kenta smooths his mustache with one hand. Offhandedly but with an inscrutable tone that means you cannot ken if it is truthful or in jest "Eh, manflesh not so tasty... too tough."
"Not so bad when I am in the form of the great cat predators of the mountains, I'd never eat one in this Aspect"
Smiling as he looks at the pair "Any money for the piece of paper?"
Alchy goes all quiet and conspiratorial, "Be carefull of their magic mojo money, I once used its sorcery to protect people in battle. I think it is dangerous stuff this 'money' they all peddle. I will unlock the secret one day."
"Turodan, what my companions are trying to say, is they have made many great sacrifices in being able to accomplish this goal of recovering the Andoran Bill of Freedom. They simply would like to be acknowledged for their efforts with some tangible reward. Obviously, we were happy to fulfill this task, but I admit this task was not accomplished without some great hardship. They were wondering about some sort of compensation."
Yes, sorry, we went off on a tangent...what I wanted to say was: You have my deep thanks for returning the Bill and giving the people of Andoran their most precious belonging back. We as the Fremen can't offer you any gold for that, but I think that the Andoran government will show their gratitude soon. But now that you have returned, you should enjoy the feast and thank the gods for surviving another day in this hell hole of a city, heh!
then he looks at Tal and adds Surviving is ok, isn't it?
Gondel has meanwhile scribbled down some of the things Kyren said and sighs
Ah Kyren...you can't even imagine how much I would love to hear that from one of the critics...they only want more exotic, never seen before meals...Happily would I finish my "Book of a Zillion Good Stews"...
"We as the Fremen can't offer you any gold for that, but I think that the Andoran government will show their gratitude soon. But now that you have returned, you should enjoy the feast and thank the gods for surviving another day in this hell hole of a city, heh!"
"I knew you would come through for us, my friend! Naturally, the Wee Bluets are here to help, but I should tell you, that some philosophical debates on the nature of freedom have come up more than once. Although I naturally understand the value of a document such as the Bill of Freedom, my companions have expressed an interest in helping free actual slaves. Now obviously, we are not an army by any stretch, but we are clever and resourceful and would be very interested in any work you may have in the work of the Bellflower Network, The Fremen, and the liberation of those unjustly imprisoned. You know, something a little less theoretical and a great deal more practical. Just please keep us in mind if anything comes to your head. Meanwhile, you are right, it is time to celebrate the occasion, enjoy some good food, visit with good company and renew our friendships! I mean, why else do we live?"
Next, Kyren will step aside with Gondel and speak to him about his recipes.
"Ah Kyren...you can't even imagine how much I would love to hear that from one of the critics...they only want more exotic, never seen before meals...Happily would I finish my "Book of a Zillion Good Stews"..."
"Now who is your favorite critic? You do not need to answer that. Obviously I am! You clearly read the review I gave you in Filibert's. Now, I trust this has given you a boost to your business. If there are other critics that do not like your cooking then they are the wrong critics to please and they mean nothing! If you want to know how to please the world with culinary delight, then you need to please me! Trust me, my friend, I will make you famous if you will but prepare gourmet food the way it is meant to be served! Your book of a Zillion Good Stews sounds fantastic! All you need to do is add a little pizzaz here and there and then Kazam, you will have a masterpiece! However, to achieve such a level, you need to throw out the cardboard, the dirt, the blood, the guts, and the filth that this city is known for. You need to acquire spices from Qadir and the east and let your imagination and creativity go wild! Give me gourmet and I will give you fame! You can quote me on that!"
Kenta scratches his head "So no gold then eh? Maybe have to settle for your deep thanks then... where is it?"
Alcheringa looks at the paper, then at Turodan. There is a look of deep distrust on the Elfs face.
"I am confused, on one hand the Bill apparently is just a piece of paper, with no Mojo, and then you people keep saying how valuable it is, yet there is no reward for it... yes my companions have taught me of reward... yet the Bill will be given to some other people who are some Gov'mint and they will express gratitude, but express it to whom?."
"There's no Bill that says I am free, but free I am. No Bill that says Kyren is free, yet free he is. For you other people though, there is a Bill, and it seems your freedoms are bound to the piece of paper and enormous stock is placed on where the paper is. We need to burn the paper, to grind it to ashes, to turn it to dust and break the spell. Give me the paper Turodan, free yourself and free your mind, let me destroy this paper and break the spell. It is worthless paper, only valued at the meal you give us in its exchange, although given how many people have died over it I now see the worth of your trades... multiple lives worth a piece of paper, a piece of paper worth half a dozen dishes of food. I could have saved a lot of time by simply eating half the party."
Alcheringa places out his hand. "The Paper" he asks.
"You see, Turodan, this is part of the trouble I have had explaining to my friend Alchy. He knows that we claim the Andoran Bill of Freedom is extremely valuable to us, but clearly he has seen a great deal more slavery than we have been able to deal with. Furthermore, by you not giving any reward, he is even further convinced that it has no value. Could you kindly bring in your ambassador friend to come and talk to us about what great thing we have accomplished. I mean, the Wee Bluets would all like to hear how important this piece of paper is."
Kyren tries to deliver a secret message to Turodan (using Bluff ) that Alcheringa does not see.
The message says, "Please don't give the Bill to Alcheringa. He will destroy it thinking he is doing us a favor!"
Sense Motive
"Kyren knows the truth. Bring your Mojo-man to explain himself, this paper makes no sense. If it is valuable, then where is the reward? If it has no magic, then how does it hold you in bondage. On one hand you say it is valuable, and on the other it seems to have the value of a bunch of mashed up then dried out reeds covered with ink."
"This is just tricky and confusing business. Duskwardens were better, have job, give magic money mojo. Fremen just go 'cheep cheep and baa baa' and that's it"
Vaughn smirks at Alcheringa's brutal honesty, but otherwise is quiet, very eager to see how this embarrassment of Turodon plays out.
Turodan needs a second to understand that Alcheringa is serious, then he looks at Kyren and takes a deep breath
Alcheringa, I understand what you say, but let me explain you what this Bill of Freedom means to the people of Andoran. Imagine a land enslaved for centuries by a foreign power. Its children, boys and girls, taken away each year to entertain the oppressors in their hellish homes far away. The people's spirit broken again and again with each rebellion put down more brutally than the one before.
There came a moment these people lost any understanding of the term "free". They just accepted that being a slave was the only truth for them...and then...much later, someone suddenly wrote the idea of freedom down again and spread it in written form among the people. The impact was more than any magic could have ever achieved, it restored hope and an understanding of self-determination in the hearts and minds of these poor people. Now the paper you just gave me is the original one, the first one on which these ideas were written down - it will forever remind the people of the start of their glorious rebellion and as long as they have it serve as a beacon of hope.
Kyren gives Turodan a big smile as he quietly breathes a sigh of relief.
"Kazam! That's the ticket! That's why we do it!"
Kenta listens attentively... but still has his face screwed into some confusion by the completion of the words "Pity for those people who not read eh? Kenta not see how writing down make things better... Kenta could write down Kenta is emperor of everything and needs sake but would not make so."
"Correct Kenta, correct."
"If this piece of paper is really so important, why are we standing around in a kitchen with it?"
Turodan is obviously beyond the point of discussing the matter further
Alcheringa, you're right. I won't waste any more time and give it to the Andoran contact. But...what are you going to do now?
Good question. After that experience, I wouldn't mind a little rest--there was a lot of unpleasantness I'd like to scrub from myself, ya know??
.
But after that . . . um, what's been going on in town?
Vaughn starts to move toward the feast and out of the kitchen, trying to gain some news while tucking in.
Tal had been following the discussion with delight, a freewheeling debate on the merits of enshrining the tenets of freedom in a document.... wonderful. I shall pray to pharasma for permission to travel with these Wee Bluets, if they'll have me, they seem to enjoy a greater incidence of occasion to experience the new and interesting
He joins Vaughn at the feast.
Kyren returns to the dining room and joins Tal'Zeneb for the feast.
"Tal'Zeneb! I am so glad that you can join us for a little celebration. I mean no offense when I say this, but you are going to find the food far better than you've ever tasted. I mean it will make you say 'Kazam'! So telll me, have you ever been among the Fremen before? They are a decent, hardworking, good group of folk. They are just the people you want to spend time hanging out with. So tell me, Tal, are you permitted to have a drink? I think I need to try some of Kenta's sake. Will you be able to join me?"
Calling over to his other new companion, he asks, "Kenta, my friend, do you have enough sake to open another bottle and share some with your new friends?"
"Don't know what is next, no more help for Fremen though. They have been helped a lot, yet they do not improve, always asking for more yet they always do the same things and give nothing back. Perhaps it is time to let them live or die now on their own, the survival of the fittest. No more 'Meep meep cheep cheep baa baa' but instead let us hear them roar mightily now they have their Mojo-paper and let them truly master their own destiny. They make nice friends, but they make terrible partners to trade with"
Alchy joins the feast.
Kyren returns to the dining room and joins Tal'Zeneb for the feast.
"Tal'Zeneb! I am so glad that you can join us for a little celebration. I mean no offense when I say this, but you are going to find the food far better than you've ever tasted. I mean it will make you say 'Kazam'! So telll me, have you ever been among the Fremen before? They are a decent, hardworking, good group of folk. They are just the people you want to spend time hanging out with. So tell me, Tal, are you permitted to have a drink? I think I need to try some of Kenta's sake. Will you be able to join me?"
Calling over to his other new companion, he asks, "Kenta, my friend, do you have enough sake to open another bottle and share some with your new friends?"
Smiling at Kyren, Tal'Zeneb says "I have not had dealings with the Fremen until now. I think that this feast will give me an opportunity to taste many things I haven't yet had the pleasure, including Sake!"
After you have found a nice table in front of the Fremen's guild house, the strain of your last adventure begins to fade. Supported by good wines, beers and Gobbletor's creations (and not from the underground section of the menu) you have a very nice evening in Kaer Maga - who would have thought to be possible.
Later, after many portions of honeyed pig roast, peppered salmon, mushroom stew, garlic bread and other culinary highlights, Turodan joins you again. Under his arm he carries something enwrapped in a white cloth.
He places it on the table and says
This is what the Andorans gave me to thank you.
Inside is a silvery longsword, its golden guard formed like the spread wings of an eagle, the pommel sculpted in the form of an eagle's head. In the centre of the blade sits a finger-sized pale pink crystal.
The magic the weapon radiates can also be felt by those who lack the metamagic sight spell wielders possess and for a moment you aren't able to say anything, so breathtaking is this supreme example of workmanship combined with powerful spells.
I don't know if the weapon has a name, but I would expect a long history of battle from such a sword.
"An amazing piece of magical art, I shall admire it, and then see what mojo-money will be traded"
"Kazam! Would you look at that!" Kyren exclaims excitedly. "I have never seen it's equal! You know, that would look really nice hanging on the wall in the dining room at the Revive! It will show off to all of our guests just how awesome we are! We can always gaze upon it and it will remind us of the good time we had down in the Ossuary!"
"We had a good time in the Ossuary? I suppose theres one less Necormancer, it wasn't completely dismal. A lot of people died though, maybe some that shouldn't have. Not the Necromancer though."
Kyren gauges everyone's reaction with a sly grin on his face.
Settling in to the banquet, Kenta rummages in Buta's saddlebags and produces a clay bottle "Hai, sake" offering to one and all, including Buta... and looking questioningly at Alcheringa to see if his cat would also like some. It is warm, and smooth... but kicks like an ornery mule.
When the blade is presented Kenta looks at it over a plate of roast pork "Is nice... bit pretentious for Kenta, but nice all same. You think get best price by sell back to these Andoran people?"
Vaughn's eyes light up at the weapon. Unbidden, he picks it up and takes a couple practice swings. While no expert in larger blades, he certainly appreciates the workmanship--and power--evident.
Verrry nice. Very nice indeed!! Too bad none of us use such a weapon. (this last is quiet enough tha tonly his friends hear it--he knows enough not to be rude!!)
A most puissant weapon, a princely gift indeed! " Tal'Zeneb says around a mouthful of spiced nutcake.
@Vaughn: Absolutely right
Turodan's face twitches a bit when Kenta mentions his idea
Uh...err, the Andorans won't be happy to buy their sword back, but if you are really looking for a buyer: Ask around for Varian Jeggare, I know he's still in the city and prominent for being a collector of very rare items. I was also told he pays best prices.
"Forgive my friends, Turodan. This truly is a remarkable piece, but I think my friends are simply trying to make a living and cannot afford to keep such a relic. Despite how nice it would look hanging on the wall of the Revive, I don't think we will be able to keep it. I suppose I will have to put my decorative katana up instead."
Kenta frowns and grumbles something in his native tongue before shaking his head. He then reaches forward to drain another shot of sake.
"That's right, Kenta, you don't like putting weapons on the wall. So tell me what do you prefer, musical instruments, or works of art? Honestly, if I put my decorative Katana up in the Revive it would only be for a conversation piece. I don't think I could cut butter with it!"
"Katana only good for one thing... battle. No such thing as decorative. If Kyren not use for killing, better to sell to someone who will." before spending a moment in thought "Kenta not much for decorations... too jarring to have pretty things at home when world outside still pile of kuso. Better to spend money on sake... or geisha" the last drawing a wistful sigh from the wayang "But no geisha here... so only drink."
What is a geisha? Turodan asks with genuine interest. You stem from the lands to the very west, Kenta, right?
Kenta nods solemnly "Hai, lands over waves and far away... and geisha..." wistfully sighing again "angels walking on two feet to grace us with beauty and song. They stand beside us but live in the flower and willow world. No... no geisha here... just whores of Hospice."
So these geishas are artists? Or dancers? And what is the flower and willow world?
Some more Fremen have turned around now and listen to Kenta's stories about his homeland.
Kyren also sits down and decides to hear what this world traveller has to say.
"Kazam! This sounds very intriguing! Hmm? A world of flower and willow?! I wonder if Wee Bluets and Bellflowers have a place in this world?"
Kenta leans back in his chair and regales the crowd "Geisha is geisha... some dance, some sing, some act in plays, serve tea, best ones do all... but also some just talk. The world they live same as ours but they see it different. The geisha is the willow, graceful and strong. Those that court them the flowers - colorful, but able to be shed and replaced."
After enjoying the company of the Fremen for a while and trying some of Kenta's sake, Kyren joins the others and returns to the Revive for a good night's sleep. When he returns to the revive he opens the door for Kenta and Tal and waves his arms like a good host and says, "I am happy to welcome you both to the Revive for a Better Life! This is our humble home which we are delighted to welcome you to. We have a bit of work to do on it, but we do our best, little by little."
Vaughn gives a huge stretch. MAN, it's good to be somewhere safe. *sniff* gawds, I stink. Time for a hot bath. I think I'll just replace these clothes rather than launder them!!
Accompanied by many thanks and good words you leave the Fremen's guild house behind and immerge once more into the vibrant life of Kaer Maga's streets. Soon the light of the Bottoms district vanishes and you enter the familiar gloom of Ankar Te. The smell of incenses and rotting flesh is quite a sensation for those who enter the district for the first time and Tal has a hard time enduring the sight of hundreds of enslaved undeads.
Soon necromancers have spotted him and threatening gazes follow you until you reach the Revive at last. The place looks empty, there are no tables in front of it and the curtains are also pulled shut. An orc leaning against the doorframe gives you a cocky grin and grunts
No food today, hah! Forced vacation closedown, hah!
Kenta happily follows along on the back of Buta, half skinned with sake by now and jovial. Eyeing the orc with a smile he waves "Hallo"
"Good evening, Sir. I am Kyren Tosscobble of the Wee Bluets. Could you kindly tell me what exactly you mean by 'forced vacation closedown?' Where is Bobo? You know, the little halfling that was the chef here? What exactly has happened to the Revive, my good sir?!"
Diplomacy
The half-orc stops short
Bobo? You mean the pesky thing that didn't stopped shouting "I have powerful friends! Don't dare to touch me or they will hack your hands off!"...that Bobo?