This is a open call for players interested in playing the Legacy of Fire Adventure Path by PbP, updated to Pathfinder rules of course. I am planning a group of 4-6 players, though one of those spots is presently spoken for.
If you are not familiar with the Stormwind Fallacy, from which I took the name, do yourself a favour and give it a read. To summarize, there is a preconception out there that people who optimize characters cannot roleplay, and that people who play underpowered characters are far better at it. The truth tends to be that neither has much of anything to do with the other. Optimized characters can be played brilliantly, or be munchkins, underpowered characters can be RP gold, or bland dead weight.
This will be a game for strong, immersive roleplay, by players who also know how to optimise. I believe in letting players play cool, heroic characters, and adjusting the challenges to make them work for every victory. I really enjoy good roleplay, and tend to be of the school of thought that playing a strong character you really enjoy brings an element of enthusiasm to the role playing.
Submissions can come via posts here, or a completed alias if you prefer. Please include a good background and character story, as well as an idea of your character's motivations going forward. Also include a bit on your character's future mechanical development, so we can be sure you know what you're doing; remember, we will be Playing on Hard here. If you are not that good at optimizing yourself, that is not necessarily a problem, as long as you can seek out help when you need it.
Gameplay:
Frequency: Once per day during weekdays, weekends optional. This is the ideal, but I'm not draconian about it. Characters that are absent a day here or there will generally be NPC'd, especially in combat, unless repeat offenders become problematic.
Timezone: I'm in Alberta, Canada (GMT -7), aka Mountain Time. Being Canadian also means you'll have to put up with English spellings (colour, honour, centre, etc.)
Maps: I use Maptools to create my maps, and then post a screenshot to Google Docs. Here's some actual examples from my Carrion Crown AP: Here and Here.
Ability Scores: Design your characters with a 20 Point buy. Once the group is selected, I'll allow each to roll a set. Each player will be able to choose to either keep their 20 point set, or choose any of the sets rolled by all players. There will be no limit to how many people choose any one set, and in previous games most players all chose the same set. Please note that one of my house rules is that both Int and Dex modifiers affect bonus skillpoints.
Acceptable Sources: Any official Paizo PFRPG sourcebooks. Please reference the more obscure options. 3rd party and 3.5 material may be considered, but is subject to approval. I typically use PFSRD as my online resource as I find it easier to navigate than the PRD.
Classes and Archetypes: All official Paizo Classes are open, including Gunslinger, Summoner, Ninja and Samurai. For the Oriental classes, you will need to explain why you are in Katapesh, or how you would reskin the class to fit local culture (which would probably not be too difficult imo.) I might restrict the reviled Master Summoner archetype, mainly to avoid the bookkeeping it entails.
Races: Any from ARG, though core will be favoured in the selection. Suli can be added to core in this case, as they fit the setting very well. I prefer to stay away from custom races unless I (the GM) make them, so submit them at your own peril.
Alignment: I prefer heroic play, which entails a mostly Good character base. Please avoid CN/LE, and NE/CE should be right out.
Traits: 2, one of which must be a campaign trait.
Starting Gold: Max.
HP: Max at level 1, half+1 after that.
Many elements of Pathfinder are drawn by necessity and tradition directly from earlier editions, but do not necessaries make sense. The following modifications try to restore a little bit of logic to the feat system. A few of these rules may be experimental, and may require tweaking later. If an adjustment nerfs a character build, you will be allowed to modify/retrain/rebuild the character to move in a different direction.
Some strategies listed as Feats in the game should be abilities that any warrior can use, regardless of whether he has a specific feat.
Weapon Finesse: Applies to all finesseable weapons.
Agile Maneuvers: Applies to all finesseable weapons.
Power Attack: Can be performed by any character with a BAB of +1 or more.
Lunge: Can be performed by any character with a BAB of +6 or more.
Deadly Aim: Can be performed by any character with a BAB of +1 or more.
Improved Dirty Trick, Improved Disarm, Improved Feint, Feinting Flurry, Improved Feinting Flurry, Improved Reposition, Improved Steal, and Improved Trip do not require Combat Expertise as a prerequisite.
These abilities still require a feat expenditure, but have modified effects from the original description.
Combat Expertise: Is now mostly a stand alone feat, and does not function as a prerequisite for the Improved feats as before.
Dervish Dance: Can be applied to any finesseable weapon.
Vital Strike: Scales automatically, gaining the effect of Improved Vital Strike when the character achieves a BAB of +11, and Greater Vital Strike when he achieves a BAB of +16.
Two Weapon Fighting: Scales automatically, gaining the effect of Improved Two Weapon Fighting when the character achieves a BAB of +6, and Greater Two Weapon Fighting when he achieves a BAB of +11.
Craft Magical Item: All the Item Creation Feats are replaced by this one feat. You must still posses the minimum required caster level to make the type of item specified, and must still meet all other requirements. Free to wizards in lieu of Scribe Scroll.
Simple Metamagic:
Prerequites: The ability to cast level 1 spells.
Benefit: The character gains the ability to use all +0 and +1 metamagic. Feats, class abilities, and traits that reduce the level modifier of a metamagic affect must still specify a specific metamagic technique.
Advanced Metamagic:
Prerequites: Simple Metamagic, the ability to cast level 2 spells.
Benefit: The character gains the ability to use all +2 metamagic.
Master Metamagic:
Prerequites: Advanced Metamagic, the ability to cast level 3 spells.
Benefit: The character gains the ability to use all +3 metamagic.
Simple Weapon Proficiency:
Prerequites: None
Benefit: The character gains proficiency with all simple weapons.
Martial Weapon Proficiency:
Prerequisites: All simple weapon proficiencies.
Benefit: The character gains proficiency with all martial weapons.
Finesse Weapons: Staves, Spears, and Katana’s are considered finesse weapons when wielded with two hands.
Bastard Sword/Dwarven War Axe: Any character proficient in the use of a Longsword may use a Bastard sword one handed if he has a strength of 13 or greater; the same applies for those proficient with a Battle Axe using a Dwarven War Axe. Any character that is proficient with the use of a great sword, and with a Strength of 13 or greater, may treat the Bastard Sword or Dwarven War Axe as a Finesse Weapon when wielding it two handed.
Spear: Spears are one handed weapons when used with a shield in the off hand. A character with Martial Weapon proficiencies may always treat a spear as a one handed weapon.
Long Spear: A character with Martial Weapon proficiencies may treat a long spear as a one handed weapon when used with a shield in the off hand.
Cleric/Inquisitor: Classes that receive proficiency with their deity's favoured weapon receive Weapon Focus instead if that weapon is a weapon with which that class is already proficient. In cases where a deity favours unarmed attacks, the character receives Improved Unarmed Strike.
Monk: Monks receive proficiency with all simple and martial weapons with the 'Monk' property. Monks may use Flurry of Blows with any combination of unarmed attacks and monk weapons, including a single monk weapon.
Ranger: Ranger's may choose their animal companions from the same list as Druids.
Mithral Weapons: Any one handed metal weapon made out of Mithral may be treated as a finesse weapon.
Mithral Shields: In addition to the other traits of Mithral Shields, the shields may be considered one size lighter. The user must still possess the proficiency for the Shield Type.
Skill Points: Just as highly intelligent people learn some skills faster, the same is true of physically gifted people. Characters receive bonus skill points every level equal to the sum of their Intelligence and Dexterity modifiers.
Recruitment is open until I find an ideal group of players, so there is no fixed closing date. If you are a late comer, please check my posts to see if I have announced an end to recruiting.
Made this guy for another game that never got off the ground. I'm always interested to try the adventure paths and I like optimizing.
The crunch would stay basically the same, I'll have to tweak it a bit and make sure it meets your requirements. He'd just be a fire sorcerer with a possible one level dip in Flame Oracle. I need to read the player's guide, and then rework the background and personality a bit, to make him more good and less hitman.
dot for interest, not sure what i will try to play.
Sounds fun I'll put something in when I get a good idea.
Great concept. Count me interested in playing this rogue-knife fighter. Ill have to recrunch a bit and edit background slightly but otherwise Im game.
Very interested in this as I've never played Legacy of Fire AP but enjoy hard mode games(ones where the DM plans on optimized characters filling the party). I will try to have a submission after work today.
Current Idea: Wishcrafter Sorcerer Ifrit. More details to come.
I updated my backstory. The character should be basically complete now. Still needs gear, but that'll be done soon.
PS:Your houserules are really cool. I'm excited to see how they play. Especially the metamagic ones.
dotting for interest. need to updat for campaign
dotting for interest....
I like what you have going here. I need to think on it though.
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Current idea would be a bard, fighting with whip. If we need a little more firepower I'll probably go SoundStriker, and perhaps Songhealer too if we need a little bit more healing.
I can't post all the build right now, but I have it at home, so I'll just need to adjust it a little bit, and we'll be fine.
I can switch SoundStriker for the Watersinger Archetype from the ARG (for Undines) if you think the SoundStriker archetype to be too powerfull(maybe we'll have to discuss about your interpretation of that class abilities).
- looks like a fairly straight up fire focussed blaster mage. People don't play blasters enough any more. I really like his back story too; tragic, as most RP backgrounds are, but not overly cliché. Was his father the Ifrit, his mother, both, or was the carrier of the fire bloodline a mystery? Glad you like the rule set; the metamagic rules are the one's I've never played out long term before, but the majority of the rules I've made give melee a major leg up, so I had to give casters something too. I think it makes sense, and should work.
- I like the image of a Suli combat cleric. Sarenrae is an obvious choice and very thematic. I feel like I can picture this one already.
- Knife master is a nice Archetype. Combines well with Scout too. Looks like he came from an Armour as DR game? I like it in theory, but haven't tried it. This game will be standard armour rules. If there are other rules people wish to use, we may discuss those once the selections are made, before we start the game proper. His background is a bit dark, and as I said in the initial post, I would like to avoid evil characters, so keep in mind that may count against him for selection.
- The Wishcrafter seems interesting. I imagine it will take coaching your team-mates a bit to get them in the hang of it. I wonder if they'll ask for things you actually want done. I'd rather not see metagaming in that aspect and see them try to predict what you want, or make genuine wishes as to what they want.
- I'm not seeing an Archetype, so I'm assuming straight barbarian. You have a AC point from Dodge, but don't have the feat. You also have a natural and deflection notice in there, but it doesn't look like he actually has a bonus in either. Why Hide armour over a Hide shirt? Same AC, no movement penalty. His background is pretty brief; I tend to like a little more on goals and motivations.
- I must warn you, I am not a big fan of bards. It could be that I've just never seen one done well. The general concessus I've read on optimized bards tends to be that they need to focus on what bards do best, and buff the party. Any damage dealing they can eke out is good, but will usually never match other classes.
- Modifying the trait is fine. There aren't that many, so variations would be good. Let me know when you want me to look him over.
DM Stormwind - I just recently found out that a character can have several archtypes so Ill look into the Scout. I said in my initial post that I'd be writing his background. This guy was made for a darker game where there was no alignment. and Ill be recrunching the Armor also. Will have him recrunched tonight.
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- I must warn you, I am not a fan of bards. It could be that I've never seen one done well, but it may not. The general concessus I've read on optimized bards tends to be that they need to focus on what bards do best, and buff the party. Any damage dealing they can eke out is good, but will usually never match other classes.
I'm well aware of that, thus why I'm sticking with Archetype that do NOT trade Inspire courage nor Bardic Knowledge, which are the best bard's abilities. The reason why the Soundstriker can become a good damage dealer is because of this:
What do you think of it?
But if you really don't like bard, I won't push my luck. How do you feel about gunslingers? (Maybe with a bit of the gunmarshal PrC from Paths of Prestige)
Oh I forgot, My character will be a Pathfinder who wants to become a celebrity. Since he was little he worshipped those great adventurers and spent most of his time between the library and his music classes. When he got old enough to apply at the Pathfinder Society, he ran there and passed all the written test thanks to all those years of training. He had a harder time with all the physical test, but he did manage to pass them.
A lot of his mentors at the Society wanted him to stay at the lodge as one of the librarian, but he worked so hard to be one of the adventurer's, who lives adventures that normal people can only dream of, and not just manage some archives.
To prove his qualities as a Pathfinder, he decided to apply on the mission to accompany Garavel’s group to Kelmarane.
Mother, father was a human.
I have a wizard from a previous Legacy of Fire recruitment that never made it off the floor. I still need to update him to meet your creation standards, but basic background, personality and description should be able the same. Sheet can be found in the profile.
Dot for interest (assuming it's not full already, as this game sounds great!)
DM Stormwind- I agree. However I don't have to grant a wish made, or cast all my spells through wishes, I just feel it is a fun mechanic that gets others involved in my spellcasting, as well as set up for future powers. I expect to RP telling my companions they may wish for things from me each day and it will help me perfect my wishcrafting if I can grant their wishes. Also tell them the limits of my abilities too.
Can Wayang Spell Hunter and Magical Lineage traits stack? This is assuming of course that I took additonal traits feat to be able to take them both.
- Sounds good, let me know when you're ready. If you don't want to modify the alias until you're sure if you're getting in, feel free to post the character as a spoilered comment.
- I like Gunslingers, but have usually found them underpowered. I'd like to see an optimised one in play, as I have heard some GM's complain that they can be hard to undercut (the touch AC thing mostly, I wager). Keep in mind that guns come from Alkenstar, so your character should either be from there, or have a good story how he came to learn about guncrafting from someone who was.
- Thanks. I take it you are open to having your search incorporated into the story? Did you have any more info about your mother in mind(Class, etc.), or is that to be left to my imagination?
- Love the name. Is that derived from something real, or just meant to sound Arabic/Farsi? His background looks good, and the build looks solid. Any questions?
- This recruitment forum hasn't even been up 12 hours yet, it's definitely not full. I haven't made any decisions yet, and I'm planning on keeping open for submissions for at least a couple of days. It will not be first come, first serve, but rather based on the best submissions. Please submit an idea.
- Ah, money. That makes sense. I probably won't take a close look at gear until we're getting ready for launch. The additions to the story look good. Practical and very real considerations. I like that. Just noticed when I was saying the name aloud, but is it a play on Culloden?
- I would say that as both traits do the same thing, they would not directly stack (allowing you to cast a +2 metamagic without changing the spell level). However, since you have the same ability from two sources, I would rule that each could affect a different metamagic feat when multiple effects are being used on the same spell (so he could cast a spell with 2 +1 metamagic effects without altering the spell level.) It's up to you whether you think that it would be worth it to invest in the traits with this in mind. It's worth noting that I like to be open to other interpretations, so if you or anyone else disagrees with my reading/understanding of a rule, I invite discussion on the point.
As I mentioned to Odea above, I'm planning on keeping open for submissions for at least a couple of days. It will not be first come, first serve, but rather based on the best submissions. Please submit an idea if you have not yet done so, and feel free to ask for clarification on any of the things I am looking for, or if you have questions about my house rules or how the game will be run.
DM Stormwind- That is a fair ruling, with your single metamagic feats I feel that it would be used often on the single spell I would pick. Back to working on history now as my mechanics are pretty much worked out for now.
Sorry, , I missed you. As I said, I have a personal tendency not to like bards, but I won't penalize someone just because I would not play a given class. If he has an interesting story, and is built to aid his party, then yes, I would accept a bard into the group. You might just need to stress what he can do for his party just a little touch more...
- I'm familiar with Salah ud'Din, though I've usually seen it as Salah ad'Din. He was quite revolutionary for his time. I think I based a character name off of him once too.
hmm with your house rules it opens up a lot of different play styles and build options, right now i am thinking of making a dwarf monk (drunken fist, way of the sacred mounten) or a dwarf cleric (Forgemaster) both of them will be front line fighter builds. should have them both done in a few hours.
Just wanted to comment that I find your houserules entirely logical. Some really right choices. Bravo!
I have a somewhat oddball character to offer you, an Orc Scarred Witch Doctor, his campaign trait will be Earning Your Freedom. I have a character sheet done, but I'm going to look it over before I put it up. I will admit however, that I don't claim to know anything about optimizing, but I'm always looking to learn.
Garulk was expected to be a great fighter, as an orc, funny then, that he almost died during his first fight. It was right before the killing blow he heard a booming voice offering some instruction. He did as he was commanded, and his opponent suddenly fell dead asleep. He killed the sleeping foe in one blow. After the fight, Garulk was offered whatever reward he wished, and all he demanded was a set of tools and building materials.
The next morning, it was revealed that he had worked through the night, creating a mask the size of a large shield. It had wild eyes and an angry mouth, decorated with various colors of paint, and blood. From then on he fought in that mask, using the abilities granted to him by his patron, which he believes to be Zon Kuthon. In an attempt to increase his prestige, Garulk's owner pledged him to the expedition to retake Kelmarane, not realizing until it was too late that any slaves were being offered their freedom in return for their service.
I haven't quite nailed down how I want to do things with him, I may take a level or three of Barbarian, if so his other trait will be Magical Knack, if not, then I'm not sure what his second trait will be.
This looks like a fun game. I would like to submit Smite aka Buttercup for your consideration.
She believes herself to be a mighty Inquisitor of Desna, however, her starting levels will be in Ninja (and she will take a few levels in Inquisitor later on.)
The Alias has a first draft character sheet and a background. I am happy to make adjustments as needed to better fit your campaign.
I hope you enjoy her.
ok so how would you say the trait finding haleen works. (the class you take at first levelis always a favored class to you, and every time you take a level in it, you gain +1 hp and +1 skill point over and above what you would normal get.) how does that work with alternate class, as well as does that mean i could pick that trait and pick hp and get +2 hp a level and +1 skill point. just trying to get a confusing trait sorted out for everyone.
Hi GM Stormwind
Reading through the player's guide I thought about playing a Gnoll. I know you said avoid non-standard races. I can't find an official Gnoll as a PC apart from the 3.5 one that has level adjustment which I think should be avoided. There are a couple people have made with the race creation rules of varying quality. The best I found was PC Gnoll are you happy with this or should I forget this idea?
for your information I am thinking of my character having been sold by his kind into slavery and decided to take humanity as its new pack.
Aren't Gnolls particularly targeted as an enemy for this campaign? I say that based off some of the campaign traits I saw...
That just means he'd need to find a reason to work with the group and against his own kind. Given what I know about gnolls, the first one will be much harder to explain than the second.
By the way, I didn't mention it, but Garulk is most likely true neutral, because he won't see his will as his own even after gaining freedom.
The plan was to make a Gnoll character that has become part of human pack and hates the other Gnoll. I haven't read the AP, you might be right and it doesn't work at all in which case I'll go back to the drawing board.
DM Stormwind, I am "applying" with Calendir - half elf ranger straight up - since I have gotten fond of the guy while writing his background and wish to see him played out.
He is definitely not up to par with the 20 point build but and your house rules but that is something I can correct quickly if you find the flavour of the character acceptable.
I will take you up on the " If you don't want to modify the alias until you're sure if you're getting in, feel free to post the character as a spoilered comment." and will be adding him exactly like that, but would like the background to remain basically the same.
Let me know and thanks.
this is pavaan and it is my dwarf cleric, battle build. i like doing the crunch a lot
- I like Gunslingers, but have usually found them underpowered. I'd like to see an optimised one in play, as I have heard some GM's complain that they can be hard to undercut (the touch AC thing mostly, I wager). Keep in mind that guns come from Alkenstar, so your character should either be from there, or have a good story how he came to learn about guncrafting from someone who was.
I completely understand, I find them incredibly fun and would like to see how one performs. This is the character sheet for Xanyon, my submission. I need to update the avatar picture and buy gear but all of the crunch should be correct.
Balodek
pavaan, and this is my dwarf monk. fun to build both of them. tell me which one you would more like to see backstory for.
The plan was to make a Gnoll character that has become part of human pack and hates the other Gnoll. I haven't read the AP, you might be right and it doesn't work at all in which case I'll go back to the drawing board.
Ha, Tim you stole my thunder, I've had a concept for a gnoll character in Legacy of Fire for some time now. But you beat me to it :) I guess great minds think alike ;D
Hi Spazmodeus, If GM is Stromwind is happy with it we can both put Gnoll characters in. If you have been thinking about it for a while your character will probably be better since I only just thought about it.
DM Stormwind - I was thinking Oracle but she could have been a Cleric or Bard as well. I hope you would work it into the game, that was my original intention. I find it much easier to roleplay when the character has strong personal motivations.
Here is my application: Seif-al-Din ibn-Subhi, a NG Suli Oracle of Sarenrae.
Although Seif-al-Din was well cared for as a child, and provided with excellent instruction through his father's contacts in the Church of Sarenrae, he found his father to be emotionally distant, focusing as he did on spanning the country, and beyond, with a web of commerce that ultimately answered solely to him.
As such, Seif-al-Din became more and more caught up in the doctrine of progress and global betterment of the Dawnflower, eventually becoming ordained as a Holy Warrior of Sarenrae (with his Father's tacit, if distracted, approval). With his faith providing him a solid bedrock of contentment from which to work, Seif-al-Din was able to throw himself into the jobs that his father assigned to him, usually providing protection, and guidance, on troubled routes (Gnoll raids, in particular, being a thorny problem, especially on the more Westerly routes) or investigating rumors of bandits or missing caravans...
...on one such journey, he encountered a small tribe of Janni nomads, who... recognised... something in Seif-al-Din. They invited him to join his tent with theirs that night, and showed him many wonders, culminating in a short foray to the Elemental Plane of Fire. The experience opened Seif-al-Din's eyes to a world he had only been dimly aware of, and awoke something previously dormant within his blood - when he was returned to the material plane, it was to discover that his skin had taken on a bronze-like sheen, his hair had become white as snow, and his eyes had taken on the color of cool, deep water.
The discovery that there was something... not entirely human... lurking in his family tree was shocking to say the least, but what he truly desired were answers... He felt called to the mountains to the West of Katapesh, and when he caught wind of the fact that a man named Garavel was organising an expedition to that self-same region, he jumped at the opportunity to sign-up.
Full 'crunch' is available via his profile :-)
- Your character looks good. Build-wise he appears to be a CHA heavy two handed fighter, with some intimidations, and probably building towards crit feats at later levels. Interesting that you left his DEX a 10, as most plate users will shoot for a 12, since it allows a +1, and you'll have no shield. Not a major difference, but as his Con is lowish too, he's set up as a bit of a glass cannon, melee wise. With judicious uses of his lay on hands to heal himself, he may manage though. Personality wise, he could be interesting to see in action, as his inner nature battles with his faith and outer responsibilities. He's kind of like a Neutral Good or Lawful Neutral character who has been told he has to uphold a Paladin's code, but without any miraculous change of his alignment. That could be a lot of fun to play with. On a small note, his profile lists his deity as Iomidae, and his background Sarenrae.
- Oddly enough, before I decided to launch this game, I was looking at recruiting threads and trying to decide what I would play in them, and I considered a Orc Scarred Witch Doctor for a Serpent Skull campaign, so I'm familiar with it. It is a bizarre class, but could be very entertaining. Fitting one in to a desert and sands setting might be a little tougher than a jungle scenario though, in terms of flavour. The background sounds good, though LE is on my iffy alignment list, even if it is just his patron. All in all, I look forward to seeing the character.
- Interesting concept, and a good background story. However, an Atomie playable race would need to be fleshed out in full before I would consider such a thing. The Bestiary version is obviously not intended to be a PC race. If you are dedicated to the concept, make up a playable version of the race using the ARG rules, using no more points than other playable races, and then I'll consider it. As I've said before, I don't wish to encourage a wide array of custom races, so if you have another concept, it might be best to explore it. Lastly, there is optimization to consider, and going ninja (CHA based) to Inquisitor (WIS based) takes MAD to a whole new level. I am not interested in discussing if a sub-optimal build offsets the power of the race, as such things cannot really be accurately measured.
- Ask for optimizers, get optimizers. In regards to how the Finding Heleen trait works: this trait was introduced in a 3.5 based game, and was probably a precursor to the idea that became how Favoured Classes work in Pathfinder. As written, it would be a very powerful trait. More powerful than any of the others. In order to avoid everyone taking the same trait, and having a whole party of brother, sister, cousin, nephew, and ex-college room-mate seekers travelling together, there should probably be an answer. Translating this to Pathfinder, I think a fair ruling would be that this replaces the regular favoured class bonus. Either option (but not both) could still be swapped out for a class specific bonus. For multi-classing characters, I would also accept that this background could award you an additional favoured class, that functions in the regular variety of favoured classes (such as with a Half-Elf). Fair? As for your characters Pavaan, tell me which you would have more fun and put more effort into role playing and then develop that one.
- The Gnoll example put forward by Tim looks very reasonable and balanced, so I would have no trouble accepting it. I like the civilized monster trope, and would welcome reading your specific character concepts. By all means, you can both submit one, and we'll see if they overlap or not. As I said, I plan to pick individually, so two Gnolls could potentially be selected if both were sufficiently interesting. If you want to hedge your bet, submit a more mainstream character as well.
- I like your background, though I think I would have liked it even more without the giants. They seem an extraneous detail, and it might be more interesting if he had just met his father, decided to run away to find him, and then found nothing was different with him either. That just seems so desperately real. Either way though, it is a good submission.
- The background looks great, and I have no complaints about the crunch. To clarify, I don't see an Archetype, correct? From his visions I presuming his starting gun will be a pistol?
- *Looking through steepled fingers and speaking in Mr. Burn's voice* "Excelent." I totally agree.
- Crunch looks good. His background is a touch... ordinary I guess, in terms of good stories. I expect a Suli to be somewhat passionate about something. I think there is plenty in his background I could use, but I'd like to see something more in his motivation than curiousity about his ancestry, and a vague feeling.