101 Ways To Make Your Players Say "Oh F-"

You're in an intrigue campaign, and your GM has a bookmark in B6 between p.110-111.

For those who don't feel like looking up what is on that page the answer is

102- Everyone, for this campaign, it'll be very helpful if you bookmark page 93 in your core rule book. Okay, let's get started.
>Page 93... has the crafting chart, and a bit of diplomacy... what's going on?<

Also, Re: Weird.
I was running high tier table for Hall of Drunken Heroes, and while the PC's gathered around an entity's threat range to begin their attack, they were whammied by the Weird [Mass Phantasmal Killer]... I apparently didn't read the part of "If saved, stunned for 1 round and d4 Str. Damage." would have made the fight more entertaining...

To be fair, that only matters to those who fail their Will save before the Fort save comes into effect.

Don't no why that would be seen as an "oh f-" moment in any sense but the literal, though.

If you're in an intrigue-based campaign, you're probably a spy or some other role that has really big secrets that need to be kept hidden. That monster can instantly read your thoughts and understand your deepest desires and anxieties just by looking at you. What's more, it immediately knows the best course of action it needs to take in order to manipulate you.

That's pretty f'ing scary for anyone who wants or needs to keep their secrets.

Malefactor wrote:

Don't no why that would be seen as an "oh f-" moment in any sense but the literal, though.

If you're in an intrigue-based campaign, you're probably a spy or some other role that has really big secrets that need to be kept hidden. That monster can instantly read your thoughts and understand your deepest desires and anxieties just by looking at you. What's more, it immediately knows the best course of action it needs to take in order to manipulate you.

That's pretty f'ing scary for anyone who wants or needs to keep their secrets.

Fortunately, that particular entity is not generally a foe. If it is ... kill it, quickly. ;)

GM: I've been reading the RIFTS rules and I really like the mega damage concept.

102. GM: "Guys, I've decided to put our current campaign on hiatus for a month because I want to try running an old-school game using these awesome Rolemaster 1st edition manuals I found for like next to nothing at Half Price Books!"

102. GM: "Guys, I've decided to put our current campaign on hiatus for a month because I want to try running an old-school game using these awesome Rolemaster 1st edition manuals I found for like next to nothing at Half Price Books!"

Those started off as crit tables for D&D. There's an easier way to introduce them to PF fans...

102: You guys have been tracking food and water, right?

Sir Thugsalot wrote:

102. GM: "Guys, I've decided to put our current campaign on hiatus for a month because I want to try running an old-school game using these awesome Rolemaster 1st edition manuals I found for like next to nothing at Half Price Books!"

Those started off as crit tables for D&D.

I remember there being an entire freakin' 8.5"x11" sheet of paper tabulating all the possible damage results for a knife. (It was derisively labeled "Rulemaster" for a reason.)

Whomever designed that system should be burned at the stake.

Gremlins, Pugwampi's our GM is creating a campaign based on those little buggers. so every f--ing encounter one of those f--ing little buggers was there cursing us with his unluck Aura (which for the uninitiated is a 20ft always on aura. That gives permanent misfortune as per the witch hex)

You're in an intrigue campaign, and your GM has a bookmark in B6 between p.110-111.

Oh gods no

"Very First" is stuff like Chainmail and Blackmoor. It's ... disappointing.

1st ed AD&D is what you're looking for. Compared to current standards 1e psionics, bards and the make-your-own-artifacts section of the DMG stand out. The random dungeon generator is hilarious if you have enough graph paper or its digital equivalent.

AC has both a floor and a ceiling. Best possible AC no matter what is -10. Very few critters have an AC that good, very few. Dragons had but 8 age categories. Compared to critters with energy drain, dragons are vastly preferred. Evil clerics could turn - and at high enough level against a lower level character - disrupt - i.e, obliterate - Paladins. Conversely good clerics could turn and possibly disrupt what are now 'evil outsiders' and the like. Classes have level titles. "Name level" is when you have a gaggle of followers show up, you earned xp for gold pieces AND For killing the stuff with the gold. (Yet another reason you'd rather fight dragons than energy draining undead - dragons have hoards, spectres don't, usually).

Clerics cast spells of no higher than 7th level. Druids had to engage in duels to advance in level past a certain point. High level druids could simply walk to the elemental planes for a picnic. Wild shape as a thing did not exist, not like we're used to it. Monks were borderline hopeless as it took absurdly good ability scores to qualify ... and you did not get to apply most of them to the character. 17th level monk was the cap, had to fight other monks to keep their level and capped out at 18d4 HD. However, they could - with a bit of a hot die - utterly crush the enemy in barehanded combat. IIRC they have a flat d% chance to just simply kill a target per-hit. Grandmaster of Flowers I've earned once.

Pick up the PDFs online somewhere reputable. It's eye opening when comparing then to now. :)

Gremlins, Pugwampi's our GM is creating a campaign based on those little buggers. so every f--ing encounter one of those f--ing little buggers was there cursing us with his unluck Aura (which for the uninitiated is a 20ft always on aura. That gives permanent misfortune as per the witch hex)

Ancient Dragon Master wrote:

Gremlins, Pugwampi's our GM is creating a campaign based on those little buggers. so every f--ing encounter one of those f--ing little buggers was there cursing us with his unluck Aura (which for the uninitiated is a 20ft always on aura. That gives permanent misfortune as per the witch hex)

** spoiler omitted **

We had pre-created our characters

"Very First" is stuff like Chainmail and Blackmoor. It's ... disappointing.

1st ed AD&D is what you're looking for. Compared to current standards 1e psionics, bards and the make-your-own-artifacts section of the DMG stand out. The random dungeon generator is hilarious if you have enough graph paper or its digital equivalent.

AC has both a floor and a ceiling. Best possible AC no matter what is -10. Very few critters have an AC that good, very few. Dragons had but 8 age categories. Compared to critters with energy drain, dragons are vastly preferred. Evil clerics could turn - and at high enough level against a lower level character - disrupt - i.e, obliterate - Paladins. Conversely good clerics could turn and possibly disrupt what are now 'evil outsiders' and the like. Classes have level titles. "Name level" is when you have a gaggle of followers show up, you earned xp for gold pieces AND For killing the stuff with the gold. (Yet another reason you'd rather fight dragons than energy draining undead - dragons have hoards, spectres don't, usually).

Clerics cast spells of no higher than 7th level. Druids had to engage in duels to advance in level past a certain point. High level druids could simply walk to the elemental planes for a picnic. Wild shape as a thing did not exist, not like we're used to it. Monks were borderline hopeless as it took absurdly good ability scores to qualify ... and you did not get to apply most of them to the character. 17th level monk was the cap, had to fight other monks to keep their level and capped out at 18d4 HD. However, they could - with a bit of a hot die - utterly crush the enemy in barehanded combat. IIRC they have a flat d% chance to just simply kill a target per-hit. Grandmaster of Flowers I've earned once.

Pick up the PDFs online somewhere reputable. It's eye opening when comparing then to now. :)

I picked up OSRIC (probably not reputable) and it is missing the weapon speed tables (sadly)

The Mad Comrade wrote:

"Very First" is stuff like Chainmail and Blackmoor. It's ... disappointing.

1st ed AD&D is what you're looking for. Compared to current standards 1e psionics, bards and the make-your-own-artifacts section of the DMG stand out. The random dungeon generator is hilarious if you have enough graph paper or its digital equivalent.

AC has both a floor and a ceiling. Best possible AC no matter what is -10. Very few critters have an AC that good, very few. Dragons had but 8 age categories. Compared to critters with energy drain, dragons are vastly preferred. Evil clerics could turn - and at high enough level against a lower level character - disrupt - i.e, obliterate - Paladins. Conversely good clerics could turn and possibly disrupt what are now 'evil outsiders' and the like. Classes have level titles. "Name level" is when you have a gaggle of followers show up, you earned xp for gold pieces AND For killing the stuff with the gold. (Yet another reason you'd rather fight dragons than energy draining undead - dragons have hoards, spectres don't, usually).

Clerics cast spells of no higher than 7th level. Druids had to engage in duels to advance in level past a certain point. High level druids could simply walk to the elemental planes for a picnic. Wild shape as a thing did not exist, not like we're used to it. Monks were borderline hopeless as it took absurdly good ability scores to qualify ... and you did not get to apply most of them to the character. 17th level monk was the cap, had to fight other monks to keep their level and capped out at 18d4 HD. However, they could - with a bit of a hot die - utterly crush the enemy in barehanded combat. IIRC they have a flat d% chance to just simply kill a target per-hit. Grandmaster of Flowers I've earned once.

Pick up the PDFs online somewhere reputable. It's eye opening when comparing then to now. :)

I picked up OSRIC (probably not reputable) and it is missing the weapon speed tables (sadly)...

You might be able to stumble across the HackMaster 4th edition books in a used book store for cheap. That, if you're of the mind, is absolutely worth playing as a nod/parody to 1e/2e.

If you want to see pdfs of the original D&D books search for 'original D&D'. They're on drivethrurpg for a start. It's only half the story though, until AD&D codified it a bit more the state of the rules was in flux between magazine articles in a way you probably can't imagine. And house rules, though those continued into AD&D and later.

@ Sirthugsalot, Chartmaster was the usual derogatory term for Rolemaster that I heard.

HA! HERETICS WHO AREN"T JUST IMMUNE TO FEAR AND DON"T HAVE SAVES SO GOOD THAT THEIR LOWEST SAVE IS HIGHER THAN EVERYONE ELSE'S HIGHEST SAVE ARE TRULY BEGGING FOR DEATH!

Oh, And while I'm at it:

102. The bad guy begins his routine "join me and we can rule together" spiel to the PCs. Then he mentions this tidbit...

"By the way, I offer four domains if you're into that sort of thing."

Attach the word "Mythic" to any spell an NPC has just targeted the party with.

avr wrote:

Sir Thugsalot wrote:

102. GM: "Guys, I've decided to put our current campaign on hiatus for a month because I want to try running an old-school game using these awesome Rolemaster 1st edition manuals I found for like next to nothing at Half Price Books!"

Those started off as crit tables for D&D.

I remember there being an entire freakin' 8.5"x11" sheet of paper tabulating all the possible damage results for a knife. (It was derisively labeled "Rulemaster" for a reason.)

Whomever designed that system should be burned at the stake.

Every weapon in Rolemaster has its own full page table.

Best game system ever.

Must admit I still hesitate between Rolemaster and Champions/Hero System for best system ever, at least theorywise... I never managed to run a full game of Rolemaster without forgetting a lot of the rules.

102. "Huh? Oh, sorry, distracted. I've been listening to a lot of Sisters of Mercy. Anyway, on to the new campaign. It's a rainy night in Ustalav..."

Apologies to my regular players for all those times I have (or will) feel gothy and subjected you all to it.

102. "Huh? Oh, sorry, distracted. I've been listening to a lot of Sisters of Mercy. Anyway, on to the new campaign. It's a rainy night in Ustalav..."

Another Mission... :P

Stop buying new products, and just start buying notebooks, or using Realmworks, and crafting a campaign (or four) by not worrying about new releases, but by using what resources you have to optimize your time to enhance your player's lives.

102. Your new GM's bookshelves are groaning under the weight of Cthulhu Mythos collected works.

102. Your new GM's bookshelves are groaning under the weight of Cthulhu Mythos collected works.

102a. Your new GM's bookshelves are writhing because of the collected works detailing the Cthulhu Mythos. ;)

Funny enough, much as I'm a mythos fan in literature, I absolutely HATE it in game, can't stand playing CoC, for instance.

Funny enough, much as I'm a mythos fan in literature, I absolutely HATE it in game, can't stand playing CoC, for instance.

It's fun in small doses. A lengthly campaign of CoC ... not so much fun, typically.

Might as well just WIS:7 and embrace the insanity.

102) The party hears a kid, in passing, talking about how his Uncle Hastur said if his class could put on a really good production of The King In Yellow the whole family would come to it.

Said kid was going to be my backup character for a Mutants & Masterminds game where we played high schoolers(like Spiderman). Never got to play him though. :(

102> "Okay folks, here's your NPC tagalong for this adventure. She's an alchemist."
>Okay, so- what discoveries does she have?<
[Lists off several discoveries, none of which are bomb related nor Infusion.]
>What does she even do?<
"She's a Preservationist. All her prepped extracts are of the Summon Nature's Ally variety."<
>Okay... Atleast she has her bombs.<
"Actually, no... she has a familiar, and not a tumor one."
>She's got a Homonculus?! Why is she coming with?!<

Promethian Preservationist ftw!

102) The party hears a kid, in passing, talking about how his Uncle Hastur said if his class could put on a really good production of The King In Yellow the whole family would come to it.

Said kid was going to be my backup character for a Mutants & Masterminds game where we played high schoolers(like Spiderman). Never got to play him though. :(

Haha, that's awesome.

I think it works best with one person in the group, out of character, that knows exactly what that could mean... and no one knows why he wants to stop the school play.

102. "Good news everyone! I've finally decided to put my Linguistics degree to good use. I trust you were all able to download and read through the Noriato grammar and lexicon PDF I sent. Ehem. Our story begins--or, as I should say henceforth: Kenoth ka var, nuhenu narateen..."

102. "Good news everyone! I've finally decided to put my Linguistics degree to good use. I trust you were all able to download and read through the Noriato grammar and lexicon PDF I sent. Ehem. Our story begins--or, as I should say henceforth: Kenoth ka var, nuhenu narateen..."

One does not merely language into a tableflip. ;)

quibblemuch wrote:

102. "Good news everyone! I've finally decided to put my Linguistics degree to good use. I trust you were all able to download and read through the Noriato grammar and lexicon PDF I sent. Ehem. Our story begins--or, as I should say henceforth: Kenoth ka var, nuhenu narateen..."

One does not merely language into a tableflip. ;)

Aynalu darun, kvat HRRRRGGHH!!

The Mad Comrade wrote:

quibblemuch wrote:

102. "Good news everyone! I've finally decided to put my Linguistics degree to good use. I trust you were all able to download and read through the Noriato grammar and lexicon PDF I sent. Ehem. Our story begins--or, as I should say henceforth: Kenoth ka var, nuhenu narateen..."

One does not merely language into a tableflip. ;)

Aynalu darun, kvat HRRRRGGHH!!

^-^ According to the experts, it would appear that, yes, it does merely language Ito Tableflip.

102. GM's mom can't get her enough of some "Oprah" on the upstairs telly.

102: From my current online Rappan Athuk game. This just happened a couple days ago.

Party: The party's sorcerer inadvertently kicks the chalky outline of the protective circle.

DM: Oops

Y'all be careful now.

Its full-plate codpiece will take your eye out.

103.. Disjunction on an artifact.. Well.. thats gutsy...

Played:

Chainmail
Tunnels & trolls
Elfquest
RoleMaster
Authentic Thaumaturgy
Gamma World
Traveller
Gurps
Fantasy Trip
Fantasy Hero 2nd edition best.
Elric of Melniborne (although I think it was called something else)
Warlock (Best non Vancian wizard system ever)
Call of Cthulhu

And I still prefer AD & D.

Somebody could try and start a AD&D 1st ed PBP? I know at least i would play.

Elric of Melniborne (although I think it was called something else)

Stormbringer RPG?

Speaking of old school...

102) "I've decided to adopt the Arduin Grimoire critical hit tables for the rest of the campaign."

102) "I've found out about these great Wandering Damage Tables from my favorite webcomic. Apparently they were originally published in Dragon so it's totally balanced! Now, can you roll a d6 for me?"

Speaking of old school...

102) "I've decided to adopt the Arduin Grimoire critical hit tables for the rest of the campaign."

....Oh, and some of the monsters too. I was reading about this one called a piranha demon and....

102. If you know they browse the messageboards, start posting really weird threads like "Need More Powerful Cursed Items (Underwear Slot)" or "My PCs Keep Eating: Are Tapeworms Creatures or a Disease?" or "Donkey as Improvised Thrown Weapon--Dex to Damage?"

Piranha Demons were bad. Dave was a very, very intense GM.
Silver Slythe were worse, they were rather slow, nearly unkillable slug creatures that would follow you forever.
Worst, of course was a spider, the Spiga. Dave loved his spiders.
"From out of the forest, brushing the smaller trees aside, you see a spider, it's head and body are nearly 50 feet long. Its metallic chitin isn't even scuffed by the trees. It is casting ...."

" The spider ... is casting ... I hamstring the hobbit and run! "